It’s A Mystery

Recently, I’ve been binge-watching an old British TV series called Midsomer Murders. The show focuses on a detective named Barnaby who lives in this vast English territory called Midsomer (not to be confused with Midsommar, which is quite possibly the most INSANE and awful movie I’ve ever seen, nor is it a time of year like Midsummer, which in Canada, happens in October). Each episode is an hour and a half long and there are TWENTY-THREE seasons with between 4 and 8 episodes a season. It’s been on since 1997 and they’re still making new episodes. Right now, I’m in about Season 9, I think—it’s easy to lose track, but at this point, I think I’m qualified to make a few observations about this show.

1) How are there any people left in Midsomer? Because in each episode there are at least 4 murders, sometimes more. Midsomer is rivalling several entire countries as well as numerous American States to be crowned the murder capital of the world. You think Murder, She Wrote was a little over the top? Try living in Midsomer, where your life is in your hands every day because you own a relish factory.

2) How big exactly is Midsomer? In the first couple of seasons it seemed like it was a fairly small county consisting of two or three villages. But when all those people were murdered, they started adding on with places like Midsomer Parma, Midsomer Wellow, Badger’s Drift, Midsomer Worthy (not to be confused with Midsomer LITTLE Worthy, Midsomer Barrow—in fact, if you look online, there are SIXTY-TWO different towns and places where these murders all take place. It’s like Midsomer has its own continent. But I guess when you’ve been killing off your population for 27 years, you need to expand your victim pool.

3) Every single person who lives in Midsomer has a deep, dark secret. From the local barman to the local baron, they’re all hiding something. That’s why in every episode, there are so many red herrings. I mean, you can’t stretch a murder investigation into an hour and a half unless you have twenty different suspects who have a shady past/married their stepson/made someone drink hallucinogenic tea/had a secret lovechild fathered by the local Anglican minister/turned someone into a blood eagle/once shot a guy during a foxhound and claimed they were aiming for the fox/burned someone alive/urinated on a sacred tree (some of these happened in the TV show Midsomer Murders and some happened in the movie Midsommar and some happened in BOTH. Guess which is which?)

4) The same actor played Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby for the first 13 seasons and when he retired, his ‘cousin’, Detective Chief Inspector John Barnaby takes over, and the best thing is that the actor playing John Barnaby, whose name is Neil Dudgeon was in one of the earlier episodes called Garden of Death. The IMDB synopsis of this episode is: “When an arrogant aristocratic family’s decision to develop a memorial garden into a commercial tea shop has the villagers up in arms, murders past and present rear their heads.” People got MURDERED over a tea shop. And the guy who becomes the new Barnaby was the sexy memorial gardener. Also, in researching this, I discovered Neil Dudgeon has been a bit actor in every single BBC mystery series, so I guess he has a lot of experience at detective-ing.

5) The synopses get increasingly more random and bizarre as the years go on. Here are some of my favourites:

The bodies of former criminals are found in a cornfield. The cause of their deaths and the strange position in which they lay is rather bizarre. Rumours quickly circulate in the village that it could be the work of some extra-terrestrial force. However, Barnaby is far from convinced.

When one of the world’s rarest orchids is smuggled illegally into Midsomer Malham, it triggers a catalogue of passion, jealousy and death.

The unveiling of a newly-discovered novel by deceased Midsomer crime-writer George Summersbee at the Luxton Deeping Crime Festival is jeopardised when the manuscript is stolen and a woman is fatally electrocuted by a booby-trapped roulette wheel. Can new dad Barnaby untangle a web of jealousy and obsession to find the killer?

The annual harvest fair and the daredevil riders of the Wall of Death come to Midsomer village Whitcombe Mallet. When the owner of an equestrian centre is trampled by his horse DCI Barnaby and DS Nelson have to unravel a complex feud from the past, where nothing is what it seems.

Alien abductions, illegal orchids, booby-trapped rouletted wheels, walls of death—what more could anyone ask for?

But recently, all of my mystery watching came in handy when we had a murder in our OWN house:

Me: I have discovered the body of a mouse in the guest room. This crime shall not go unpunished. Now let me see. (*carefully appraises group of suspects and then points with a dramatic flourish*) Atlas!! Was it you?!
Atlas: What? No! I have an alibi. I was outside at the time, barking at the squirrels.
Me: Hmmm. (*points with another dramatic flourish*) Then it must have been Ken!!
Ken: Why would I—what are we doing here exactly? I don’t remember this scenario ever happening…
Me: Don’t break the fourth wall, KEN. All right, let me see…there’s only one other suspect—ILANA!! It was YOU!!
Ilana: I didn’t do it, copper! I swear!
Me: Then why did the mouse write ‘Twuz A Kat in its own blood on the floor? Explain THAT!!
Ilana: Fine. It was me. But it was supposed to be a present.
Me: Mystery solved.

DCI Barnaby would be proud.

39 thoughts on “It’s A Mystery”

  2. Looking for something to binge watch. This might be the ticket! We finished off Brokenwood, a similar series taking place in a small village in New Zealand that has a murder rate of approx. 52-87/year. The show is described as “quirky,” which it is. In seriousness, I recommend.

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  3. barbaramullenix says:

    Twenty-three seasons! I hope you don’t have anything planned for the next several months in order to get through them! And forget (or record) anything new! Although there’s nothing new on regular T.V. until September anyway. Sounds fun and entertaining, but most important is that you like it. Can’t say that about everything produced these days.

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  5. The only detective series I have much familiarity with is Columbo, and while he came from LA where there’s a very large pool of potential victims to last for many seasons’ worth of episodes… I always wondered how he always seemed to get the cases where the murderer went through some ridiculously elaborate attempt to cover their tracks that no normal person would have ever been able to unravel. Why couldn’t he ever get to investigate an ordinary drive-by shooting or an old lady getting mugged?

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  6. Most of those scenarios seem ridiculous except for the one about the rare orchid. I’ve known some orchid growers and they will kill over rare species. Also I hope detective-ing isn’t a new profession for you. Sure, it’s a great job for the Barnabies and Jessica Fletcher was also a writer but I hope you don’t end up living in a nexus of murder. Although it’s not so bad if it’s just mice and maybe that mystery bug who shows up on your camera.

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  7. While I was reading your synopsis of the show, I was over hear confusing it with another, that I love. It’s called Murdoch Mysteries, a Canadian show about a mid century detective. But then your description made me realize it was put the show I was thinking about, lol. I love a good murder mystery series! I’m going to agree with you that horrible movie Midsommar, is a complete mess. I have no idea why I even watched it. Well Ilana was honest and it was supposed to be a present, so don’t be too surprised if she brings you two next time.

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  8. At what point does absurdity win and you quit while you’re behind?
    We too are currently hooked, and about to be released, by a British television dynasty: Call the Midwife; release coming from us exhausting every season and episode. I’ll admit to dropping a tear or twenty while watching this series. Some of the scenes are heart-wrenching. A single woman has written every episode! And she has not flagged. The philosophical treatises that Sister Monica Joan comes up with strike like micro-bolts of lightening. And every conceivable ailment or medical subject that took place in the ’60s is explored. Highly recommended.

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  11. I’ve watched “Midsomer Murders” a few times through the years when I couldn’t find something else to entertain my tiny, desperate brain. I’m surprised to learn there were only 23 seasons. I was sure there were several thousand. And, oh, the murders, the many murders.

    The other two shows I turn to in times like that are “The Bill”, which was only on for like 26 years, and “New Tricks”.

    Cheers

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  14. I’m still wondering why people don’t see how death follows some characters everywhere, like Ms. Marple, & Jessica Fletcher of Murder She Wrote. I sure wouldn’t want to hang around them hehe

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  15. I’m going to have to try Midsomer Murders before everyone is dead. I crack up too at the small towns that have so much murder! I’d move, that’s for sure. And hysterical interrogation, Suzanne. So glad you got a quick confession. 🙂

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  16. This show has been on Australian TV for decades so I know exactly what you’re talking about. I think we watched all of the first Barnaby ones, sometimes multiple times [reruns], but not that fond of the second one so we don’t watch any more. But boy, has it been a cesspit of crime! lol If you ever get the chance, watch the Father Brown series[s] as well. Based on G.K. Chesterton’s books and great fun. 🙂

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  17. I’ve never seen Midsomer Murders, but it was pretty insane how the charming New England village of Cabot Cove in Murder, She Wrote was the unofficial murder capital of the world. I recall one time John Oliver commented in horror on all the long-running NCIS franchise (1,007 episodes across 46 seasons of television): “How many f**king naval crimes are there?!”

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