Not Today, Satan; Things My Mother Left Behind Release!

This week, I had to get blood taken. I absolutely hate having that done, but my new family doctor wanted to do benchmark bloodwork before Christmas and it showed that my cholesterol was slightly elevated:

Me: What would cause that?
Doc: Mostly diet.
Me: Ahem…does drinking wine cause high cholesterol?
Doc: No, not really.
Me (internally VERY relieved): I’m prepared to cut any food out of my diet that I need to.

Turns out that the foods she identified were potatoes, salmon, steak, rice, and pasta (even the gluten-free kind). So yes, literally ALL the things I like to eat. She recommended the Mediterranean diet, and I’ve been trying to follow it, but there’s only so much chicken and quinoa a girl can eat. Otherwise, I eat pretty healthy foods and thinking more about it, that’s a complete lie and I should be surprised that my cholesterol isn’t worse. So anyway, on Thursday, I went to the lab to get blood taken.

Lab Tech: When was the last time you ate?
Me: About 45 minutes ago. I had fries from McDonald’s and a Pepsi. Considering this is a cholesterol test, that wasn’t a great idea…
Lab Tech: Haha. NO.

I rolled up my sleeve and turned my head, and when the needle went in it really hurt. I looked back and the tech had a perturbed look on his face, and then I remembered that he was taking blood from my right forearm, you know, the one with the words THE SEVENTH DEVIL splashed across it underneath devil eyes.

Me: I should probably explain—it’s the title of a book…I mean a book that I wrote…it’s not about Satan worship or anything…well, there are demons in it…anyway, I have one on my other arm too!

I showed him my left forearm and The Dome tattoo which graces it but he still didn’t seem convinced. He just muttered, “Okay,” and then handed me a cotton ball to stop the bleeding. In retrospect, perhaps the bulk of my lower arm wasn’t the best place to get a large devil tattoo as I’ve had to explain it on more than one occasion to a medical professional holding a large needle. And to add insult to injury, I got my lab results back yesterday and my cholesterol is STILL high–not quite as high as before, but still slightly higher than it should be. Screw you, quinoa. (Although I actually like quinoa, so maybe I just need to cut out the Mickey D’s).

In other news, Baxter House Editions has just released its second publication: the gorgeous poetry collection Things My Mother Left Behind by Susan Richardson. Susan writes the blog Stories from the Edge of Blindness and hosts a phenomenal weekly podcast called A Thousand Shades of Green. Things My Mother Left Behind is about the undeniable connections between love and grief, joy and pain. It is an exploration of one woman’s journey through the loss of loved ones, loss of sight, loss of control and innocence. It is about escaping into darkness and discovering light.

You can buy it here!

43 thoughts on “Not Today, Satan; Things My Mother Left Behind Release!”

  3. First, Thank you to the moon and back, my lovely friend, for publishing my book!!!!! It is the best thing that has happened to me in quite a long time and I am so proud to have a book in your incredible catalogue. You are a Lovely Rockstar Goddess!!!! 

    I was also told recently that my cholesterol is slightly elevated, but my doctor said it is one of those things that can just happen with age, so I have continued on the path of lots of salmon (and by lots I mean at least 5 times a week) and potatoes and rice, which are all ok for a digestive problem I have developed. But, if all those things mess with the cholesterol, what the hell does one eat. I admit to loving kale, but I can’t live on kale alone. Oh how I long for the days of eating spicy food and sharing a bottle of wine and feeling grand the next day. At least age brings wisdom…..right?……

    I have two full sleeves and get the craziest looks when doctors and techs see them; somehow they don’t expect a Middle aged woman to be heavily tattooed. I think it gives me a bit of a thrill!!!!! 

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  4. Freaking out phlebotomists is the best argument for tattoos I’ve ever heard, although I do prefer that needles go in as painlessly as possible. Whenever I have blood drawn or a shot and all I feel is a little pinch at most I say to the nurse “I can tell you’ve done this before” which they always seem to appreciate.
    Also I’ve always enjoyed Susan Richardson’s work so much but I’ve gotten behind. The book is a great chance to catch up.

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  6. Unfortunately, cholesterol challenges can be inherited. So don’t feel bad, Suzanne about it still being high. It’s one of the things my parents gave me and I gave to my daughter. Sigh. And fun freaking out medical professionals with your tattoos. Lol. Congrats on the Baxter House publication too.

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  7. It’s the LDLs that’ll kill ya. The spongy rafts of goo dislodge, drift around and, like Autumn leaves clogging street drains, stop up the arteries that feed your heart and brain.
    Good on you and Susan.

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  8. Thank you for all the laughs! As for me, I don’t have any problem getting blood drawn, preferably if they take it from my left arm. My right arm has a huge Birth Of Venus tattoo that raises a lot of questions from medical people.

    Also, I have 8 tattoos. Should I write a blog post about them??? I know I promised a picture of my tattoo awhile ago. Please let me know what you think. 🙂

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  10. I always thought (and still do) salmon was one of the best foods you could eat and that a glass of red wine a day was good too. I also think there is something to the old saying “an apple a day keeps the doctors away. 🙂
    Congrats on another book release!

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  11. Suzanne,

    Turns out that the statin I take wasn’t the worse thing in the world (but seemed to be at the time) and has done the job. I tried taking a natural something or another first and when that didn’t do anything (forgot what it was. Bergamot, maybe?), I agreed to the statin. Not interested in stroking out or having a heart attack or whatever else comes from high cholesterol. Aging is not for sissies. When I have to get my blood drawn, I do appreciate an experienced vampire who’s good at what they do. I’ve not met one yet that doesn’t appreciate my calling them a vampire either. Just make sure you’re well hydrated before they go looking for an artery! And when I say “hydrated,” I mean water. I’m not sure wine counts. But hey, it might. Excited for Susan and you! 🙂 Mona

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  13. I hate getting blood drawn too, is the needle poke that I can’t stand. I have trypanophobia, and I use to faint when I had to have a vaccine, blood draw or IV put in. I passed out one while getting a spinal tap because my doctor thought I might have had meningitis. I’m having issues with my cholesterol being just a tad high as well. Ugh, I’ve tried to stay on a healthy diet as well. But I get bored eating chicken, brown rice and salad. I also have a smidge of high insulin and that is something I I definitely need to keep low. Okay enough gloom and doom, I love you tattoo! It’s so freaking cool that you had your two books tattooed on your arms! That is some good work with the Seventh Devil 😈.

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  14. I have slightly elevated cholesterol too and plus BP that needs watching so, reduced salt like crazy, swapped to locally made wholemeal bread, wholemeal flour and less of all the tasty things. lol Actually , we had a pizza the other day, the first in about a year, and it was so salty I could hardly eat it. Processed food is /the/ devil. 🙂

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      • Ugh, rice flour? potato flour? Sorry, I wish I had some tasty suggestions but I don’t. 😦
        Oh wait, there is one. I’ve found that adding extra black pepper seems to fool my tastebuds about how little salt I’m getting. Whatever you do, don’t try to go cold turkey. Better to reduce stuff slowly, over time so your taste buds have a chance to adjust.

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