Looking Back to New Year

Today’s topic is actually about New Year’s Resolutions, which I do not make, mostly because if I want to change something about my life, I do it when I think of it, not on some arbitrary and imaginary date line. But still, the moving forward of time does give one pause, and by “pause” I mean “let’s stop and think about what the f*ck we’re doing and do we want to keep on doing that?” So here are a couple of things I decided I would or would not be doing in the year 2019. It’s up to you to determine now, 5 years later, which resolution(s) I actually kept:

2019

1) I will no longer be distracted by things when I’m having a serious conversation with someone. For example, once I was speaking with a colleague in my office when I realized that there was something in my boot, like a small piece of gravel or a large piece of lint. Mid-sentence, I reached down, took off my boot, shook the gravel out, looked inside the boot, put it back on my foot, and continued with the conversation. I’m extremely fortunate that I worked with people who didn’t seem to care about things like that, but still, it must be disconcerting to find yourself in the middle of a performance of Waiting for Godot. Or maybe my colleague was impressed by my multi-tasking skills. Another time, I was in a meeting, and someone said, “It’s like an icebox in here” and I started thinking about what if we were actually holding the meeting IN an icebox, and would there be sides of beef just hanging there, and could we see our breath and whatnot instead of focusing on performance measures. I didn’t say anything out loud–I’m not that weird (or maybe I am–don’t judge me). Either way, I feel like it’s a slippery slope from boot examination to toenail clipping. Ken said he had a similar situation once when he was talking to a woman who, during the conversation, reached up under her skirt and hoiked up her pantyhose. I asked what he thought, and he said, “I guess it was really bothering her. I mean, you do what you have to do, right?”

2) I will continue inventing words. You may have noticed that, in the previous paragraph, I used the word “hoik”. I use this word all the time. It means “hoist and yank”. I thought it was a real word until I used it once when I was telling the very nice gentleman I worked with about my roommate and how she had broken my toilet:

Me: She must have really hoiked on that handle!
Very Nice Gentleman: Did you say ‘hoik’? What does that mean?
Me: Hoik? You know, like this! (*mimes hoisting and yanking and makes the appropriate hoisting and yanking sound, which is ‘hoyk’*)
VNG: I’ve never heard of that word.
Me: Well, I didn’t just make it up.

Turns out that I did. I googled it and there’s no such word. But it’s a damn good word, useful for many occasions, and since I am very good at the made-up words, I will continue to invent them. Another one is “stabscara”, which is when you poke yourself in the eye with a mascara wand, as in “Oh my god! I just stabscara-d myself!!”.

Friend: I love your new eyepatch.
Me: Yes, I happened to stabscara myself but it all worked out in the end. Arrr, where’s the rum?

3) I will stop being so bad at potlucks. We used to have potlucks at work all the time, and now that I’m retired, I still attend them occasionally. When I was living in Toronto, I didn’t have a lot of fancy cooking equipment and whatnot, so whenever there was a sign-up, I just put “Drinks”. And while you might think that would make me popular, I learned my lesson after the liquor-filled chocolate meeting snack fiasco of 2017, and when I say drinks, I now mean 2 cases of Perrier, which is terribly boring and probably a let-down for everyone who saw HOW I had signed up for this particular workplace potluck in what appeared to be a very boozy way:

Go home, Suzanne, you’re drunk again.

I arrived at this potluck and people were bringing in crockpots and crystal trays and poinsettias and wreaths, and I was like, “Here. Stow these babies in the mini-fridge”. Well, they all got drunk—the cans, not my colleagues. In the future, I will try to be a little more creative, like putting bows on the Perrier boxes or something. Also, I would love to have the confidence of the person who simply wrote “Something Special”:

Me: So what did you bring to the potluck, Cathy?
Cathy: Something special.
Me: Processed cheese on Ritz Crackers?
Cathy: It’s special.
Me: But it’s just–
Cathy: SO SPECIAL.

4) I will continue to write. My only purpose in writing this blog is to make people happy, so I will keep on trying to do that. I am nothing if not resolved.

If you guessed 3 and 4, you win a Fandangly Award to do with what you will. Because it’s almost 2024, and I THINK I’m better at potlucks now (you’ll have to ask the neighbours) and I’ve definitely kept writing.

And now, just like 5 years ago, here are three questions for any of my friends to answer:

1) What is the most wonderful thing that happened to you this year?
2) Star Trek or Star Wars?
3) What would you bring to a potluck?

Happy New Year to all of you and yours!

47 thoughts on “Looking Back to New Year”

  1. I don’t do resolutions anymore, there is just no point. I mean I’m sure everyone means well Ike when they make the resolution to eat better and go to the gym. Which is honestly annoying, especially for the year round gym people who have to endure all of January and February with the temp resolution makers taking up precious space and equipment, grrr. I’m speaking strictly for my son whose a body builder and loathes the beginning of each new year because he says “posers” make it hard for those that workout everyday to actually workout when they bombard they gym he goes to. I’ve contributed to many pot lucks, I’ve made mini cheesecakes, cheese balls, lasagna wraps and baked brie with walnuts. I found out my taste is too grown up for the potluck going people I’ve worked with 🙄.

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  2. Tying resolutions to New Years has always been silly. Yet every year, we set up a special shelf for fitness items in our seasonal area after Christmas for people to buy every year and never actually use. How come nobody ever resolves to lose weight in June when it’s actually warm enough outside to go jogging?

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  3. Oh my goodness, where do I even begin? As always, I have a lot to say in regards to your blog post, and today is no exception!

    Firstly, about that peculiar habit of finding things in my shoe, well, I’ve realized I have far more resolve to let things remain a mystery until I can properly investigate the annoyance. Maybe it’s my high pain threshold or my almost limitless patience, which, by the way, shocked my tattoo artist. She finished my Birth Of Venus tattoo in record time because I didn’t need a break from the hours of needling. Imagine that!

    Speaking of quirks, my wife Amelia will bear witness to the fact that I make up my own words as well. My favorite made-up word is “squooze,” which is the past tense of squeeze. It’s a bit silly, I know, but it’s so me! I tend to think that if something is worth doing, it’s likely worth over-doing. Hence, the last time I took a trip to New York City, I squooze as much as I could into my backpack, for example. I bring more clothing than any normal human being could possibly expect to fit in a backpack. But somehow, I make it happen. It’s a girl thing, I suppose!

    Also, I add, “ee”, to everything. For example, common words like, “lunchee”, “dinneree”, etc. Amelia thinks it’s cute. 😉

    Looking ahead to 2024, I’ve decided to bring something to the local potluck events. My neighbor, who builds barns, has these monthly events with potluck dinners. While I haven’t contributed as of yet, my plan is to make my famous Firehouse Chicken Taco Salad. It’s a crowd-pleaser that’s easy to make, and I learned to make it during my fire department career days. Unfortunately, a fire truck isn’t included, but I promise that my taco salad is just as exciting!

    Of course, I will continue to write, take pictures, and maybe I will publish another book. Who knows? I have tons of excess energy, and no plans of stopping soon or even slowing down. The sky’s the limit, and I’m just getting started.

    As always, I look forward to reading the hilarious things you put on your blog. Your posts are like rays of sunshine on a cloudy day. Please continue to do so, and please keep in touch. Your blog is a little piece of joy, and I can’t wait to see what you come up with next! 🙂

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    • OK, I totally need the recipe for Firehouse Chicken Taco Salad–it sounds like the type of thing that will make me extremely popular with the neighbourhood potluck crowd!! And here’s to hoping that 2024 will bring joyee to us all!

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      • **Firehouse Chicken Taco Salad**

        **Ingredients:**

        – 1 red pepper
        – 1 red onion
        – 2 jalapeño peppers
        – 3 ounces (85 grams) of taco seasoning
        – 5 fluid ounces (150 ml) of Original Cholula hot sauce
        – 2 pounds (about 900 grams) of chicken breast (or tenders)
        – 1 level teaspoon (about 5 ml) of coconut oil
        – Medium salsa (to taste)
        – Cheddar cheese, shredded (to taste)
        – Tortilla chips (optional, for serving)

        **Directions:**

        1. **Prepare the Vegetables:**
        – Remove and dispose of all seeds and internal structures from the red pepper and jalapeño peppers.
        – Peel the red onion.
        – Dice all the vegetables into small, bite-sized pieces.

        2. **Cook the Vegetables:**
        – Melt 1 level teaspoon (about 5 ml) of coconut oil in a frying pan set to medium heat.
        – Add the diced vegetables to the pan and sauté until they start to soften.

        3. **Add Flavor:**
        – Stir in your desired amount of medium salsa to the vegetables.
        – Pour in 5 fluid ounces (150 ml) of Original Cholula hot sauce for a spicy kick.
        – Add 3 ounces (85 grams) of taco seasoning to the mix for that classic taco flavor.

        4. **Sauté:**
        – Continue to sauté the vegetables, salsa, hot sauce, and taco seasoning mixture until everything is well combined and hot.

        5. **Cook the Chicken:**
        – Add 2 pounds (about 900 grams) of chicken breast or tenders to the pan.
        – Sauté the chicken with the vegetable and sauce mixture until the chicken is fully cooked and tender. Ensure the chicken is no longer pink inside and has reached a safe internal temperature.

        6. **Serve:**
        – Once the chicken is cooked and the mixture is hot and bubbly, it’s ready to serve.
        – Serve the Firehouse Chicken Taco Salad hot, topped with a generous amount of shredded cheddar cheese.
        – If desired, pair with tortilla chips for added crunch and flavor.

        **Notes:**

        – Adjust the amount of Cholula hot sauce and jalapeño peppers to suit your preferred spice level.
        – For a healthier version, you can substitute the cheddar cheese with a low-fat version or use a different type of cheese.
        – Feel free to add other toppings like sour cream, avocado, or fresh cilantro to enhance the flavor and texture of your salad.

        Enjoy your spicy and flavorful Firehouse Chicken Taco Salad!

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  4. I totally understood the word hoiked when I ran across it there. Not for a second did I think it was a real word, but I totally understood. I remain puzzled by the context, but that’s another matter.
    Star Trek. Star Wars happened too long ago, and too far away.
    Baked beans, with chopped onion, green peppers, topped with ketchup and brown sugar, oh, and mixed in with browned hamburger and a couple strips of bacon on top just to keep the vegans away, and baked.
    No one wonderful thing. Little good things, but wonderful that they keep coming.

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  6. 1) I don’t know how to narrow down the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m not trying to brag about my good fortune or anything when really I’m just easily amused and also forgetful so the best thing is always changing. But the best thing to happen to me this year was definitely winning a prestigious literary contest. That’s something I need to get back to. Not winning contests–I can’t win every one and if I could I’d want to step aside and let others have a chance. But I’ve got a lot of projects started that I need to work on so I can do some submitting.
    2) I feel like comparing Star Trek and Star Wars is comparing apples and pineapples. Or maybe like comparing New York to the original York. So I’m going to have to go with Doctor Who on this one.
    3) In the past I’ve brought drinks to potlucks. Never alcohol, though. I did once find a recipe for Scotch eggs and, because I really like them, thought it would be fun to make them and take them to a potluck. They turned out well but making them turned out to be a long, greasy mess. That was a valuable lesson: if you offer to make something for a potluck choose something you know how to make well, that’s easy, and that doesn’t require a lot of cleanup. So I’d probably sign up for drinks.
    Also I want to make it a goal this year to get “hoik” into the Oxford English Dictionary.

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  7. Um, well, I’m about as fond of potlucks as Worf is of hugs, but since you’re bringing drinks, I’ll fall back on my other potluck contribution(s)–either chips and dip, or veggie trays with dip (none of which I make myself LOL!). And I love both equally–Star Wars and Star Trek, but since I have more Star Trek “merch” (including those standup cardboard cutouts of Worf and Picard) I guess I’ll go with Star Trek. What’s your favourite (if any) Star Trek series? I sat behind Patrick Stewart at a film festival, and the family friend that I was with was one of the organizers, and they were like “I have to take Patrick Stewart out to dinner, but I’m sad because I’m going to miss out on the films”…I was like “I’ll go!” but the family friend didn’t accept my offer, unfortunately. And the most wonderful thing? Hmm, it’s kind of a toss up. I saw a “Green Flash at Sunset” once, I met my childhood idols and it was amazing experience instead of a “reality-ruins-everything” happenstance, and I made friends with a baby chipmunk who ran down the little slope and sat on my shoe when I talked to it (to the squeaky alarm of its parental member) and when I went inside and came back out, it recognized me and did the same thing again! Okay that was probably too longwinded for a comment, but that’s what happens when I write comments and I’m overcaffeinated LOL! Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. Hmmm–great questions! Most wonderful thing: I started reading your blog and your work and discovered DarkWinter Press 🙂 Star Trek or Star Wars: Is there a difference? Just kidding. I guess Star Wars. I help write a LOT of Star Wars copy for my job. What to bring to a potluck: Paper towels. Someone will need them, eventually. (I’ll put festive bows on them, just in case.) Happy New Year!!!

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  10. I am not answering the first question because lots of wonderful things have happened so I probably couldn’t pick the most wonderful.
    Star Wars definitely.
    I like to bring Spinach Dip or Cheddar Bay Biscuits to Potlucks. I used to use a secret ingredient in the Biscuits and they were a big hit.

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  11. 1) Married my wife
    2) Star Trek (Next Generation, original series, Wrath of Khan)
    3) Special drinks (watered down Pepsi products, probably)

    And may you keep being you. Wishing you a wonderful and successful new year, Suzanne!

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  12. wishing you a great 2024, filled with only the good kind of surprises 🙂 your great post makes me wonder how much less civilized we’d all act if it wasn’t for getting shoved together at work lol

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  13. Well, my vacation is proving to be the wonderful end to a difficult year.
    Star Trek
    Dessert or chocolate. I mean, what else is there?
    Here comes a new year. Thanks for your stories and the laughs. You always have cheered me up! That’s a big gift! Enjoy 2024.

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  14. • Best thing? What about the least worst thing? Didn’t get laid-off.
    • Star Trek Wars: Coming in 2025! Kirk & Spock team up with Rey & Finn to battle the Romulan Emperor
    • Grape & blue cheese shell pasta salad, or bacon wrapped dates stuffed with blue cheese, or beef/chicken satay w/coconut curry & garlic peanut sauces or brie bruschetta or …

    I sure hope 2024 doesn’t turn out to be a political crap-fest. Other than that, shooting for the same least worst thing to happen in this new year.

    Here’s hoping your myriad endeavors all pay dividends.

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  15. For Potluck would bring cheese bread from work. It is made with fresh french bread, garlic bread and cheese. Best cheese bread ever.
    If I have to choose it would be Star Trek. But only because it is the lesser of two evils.
    The most wonderful thing to happen this past year was……my own personal growth

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  16. My wife sets New Year’s intentions, because doing so compels her to think about what she wants out of the year to come, without imposing the pressure of a resolution.

    1) That’s easy — publishing with DarkWinter, of course!
    2) For emotional storytelling, Star Wars is the one to beat; for intellectual storytelling, Star Trek takes the prize. Love ’em both for different reasons, but these days they’re just reminders of my own innocence; I haven’t watched any new offerings of either in years.
    3) I’ve been banned from potlucks ever since the time I went to a Friendsgiving celebration and only brought beer for myself. (I wanted to make sure I had something to drink that I liked!)

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  18. A fun look back at 2019 and what’s changed or not! I must say that I’m a little sorry to hear that you’ve given up wordventing. That’s a rather useful skill.

    Thanks for the questions. I had to think about the first one, and I gratefully realized that the year wasn’t all death and destruction.
    1) What is the most wonderful thing that happened to you this year? Travel!!!!
    2) Star Trek for sure
    3) What would you bring to a potluck? Seltzer and chips. Can’t go wrong with that!

    Happy New Year, Suzanne!

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  19. Hoick is definitely a word, I use it myself!

    hoick • HOIK • verb. : to move or pull abruptly : yank. Examples: “Occasionally he hoicks up the waistband of his trousers when he thinks no one is looking.” — Elizabeth Day, The Observer, 24 Feb.

    1- finally published The Ophagy! 😁

    2 – Star Wars (I was 9 in 1977, the perfect age for tales from a galaxy far, far away)

    3 – home made bread (white/wholemeal mix with a bit of olive oil). Fun fact: they’re not called pot lucks in the UK, in fact I didn’t think they even had a specific name until my colleagues in Nottinghamshire said that we would have a Christmas Fuddle. For a minute I wondered whether something inappropriate was going to happen but then someone mentioned sandwiches and cake so I was able to relax and plan my bread making.

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