Last week, I got a new tattoo. I love tattoos—I already have five of them, and now that I have Prime TV, I’ve been bingewatching Ink Master, which is a great show with a surprising amount of drama. So I was super-excited to book an appointment with Nathan at New Rise Studio, who’s the son of one of Ken’s former colleagues, and I’ve been following Nathan’s work through her Facebook page for ages. I finally made the appointment with him at the beginning of December for a January date, and just before the glorious day came, we went into lockdown again, postponing everything indefinitely. I finally was able to get the new tattoo done last week and it turned out exactly the way I hoped. And Nathan was very cool and not at all freaky like the last guy I went to, who not only gave me a tattoo but also regaled me about the time he was a Chippendales’ dancer, and told me about his stepson’s sex life.
It might seem weird that I got my own book cover tattooed on my arm, like very narcissistic and whatnot, but I don’t care. I’d originally envisioned something much smaller and less ostentatious but when Nathan showed me what he’d designed, I thought, Why the hell not?
And now my plan is to get ALL my book covers tattooed on me at some point, so I’m literally covered in covers. But that isn’t why I’m telling you this story. No, I’m telling you this as the context for a very misogynistic conversation I had recently, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
This week, I got a call out of the blue to come the next day to a hospital where a surgeon would perform a procedure on my shoulder called ‘barbotage’, which is supposed to break up the calcium deposits in my shoulder and relieve the intense pain I’ve been in for months. You might remember that I had undergone shock wave therapy for the same thing, and I had to explain to several people that it wasn’t electroshock, like they were envisioning me with electrodes attached to my skull a la Frankenstein. The shock wave therapy, despite its hefty price tag (not all of it was covered by our provincial health program) didn’t work, obviously, since the calcium was still there like a rabid little ferret, chewing away on my tendons. I’m assuming that’s what a rabid ferret would do at any rate, as I have no actual experience with either rabies or ferrets. So I went to the hospital and was greeted by the ultrasound technician, who explained that she would use the ultrasound machine to guide the surgeon as he stuck a variety of needles into a variety of places in my shoulder, particularly this long tubular needle that he would use to break up the calcium. “Just to let you know,” she said ominously, “there’s a chance the tendon could tear, or you could get an infection. Also, it will bleed a bit. I’m obligated to tell you that.” It sounded TERRIFYING. But I thought “What would Dave Navarro do?” and I signed the release she gave me.
She left to go get the surgeon and I sat there waiting, almost sick with fear. They came back and after some chit chat (he had a deceptively charming English accent), I didn’t feel any more comforted:
Me: So I heard this procedure has a 90% success rate.
Surgeon: Meh. There haven’t been many clinical studies. It’s probably more like 60%. Fingers crossed.
Me:
Then he draped me and began the procedure:
Surgeon: I’m going to inject you with lidocaine. It will feel like a bee sting.
Me: Let me know when.
Surgeon: It’s already done. You’re okay?
Me: Yep.
Surgeon: Okay, now I’m going to inject your bursa with a local anaesthetic. Are you still good?
Me: I got a tattoo last week. This doesn’t hurt as much as that did, and the tattoo didn’t really hurt.
Surgeon: I’m going to insert the barbotage needle now…So you have a tattoo? My wife wants one, but I told her she wasn’t allowed to get one. And I told my kids that if either of THEM got one, they could find a new place to live.
Me:
Surgeon: How are you feeling? Just a few more minutes.
Me:
Like, what do you even say in response to that? I mean, I had a ton of things I could have said in response to that, but the dude had a giant needle stuck deep inside my shoulder, so I didn’t feel it was an appropriate moment to explain to him that we were living in the 21st century. I mean, could you imagine that kind of conversation at MY house?
Me: I’m going to get a tattoo.
Ken: You’re not allowed.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See ya when it’s done, nerd.
The procedure was quickly finished up—it was nowhere near as bad as I’d thought—and he gave me some aftercare tips then vanished. Right before he left…I still didn’t say anything because what if I have to go back for another treatment? But if I do, I’m going to make sure I see Nathan FIRST.
Wow. Talk about a caveman attitude!
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I know! I was really hoping he would laugh and say “Just joking, of course!” but he was serious!
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That is scary! I think you did the right thing by not saying anything. You can say something after your last appointment with him. LOL!
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Oh, he’s going to get an earful, haha!
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I have numerous things to say in response to this blog post:
1) I love your attitude about the book cover tattoos. It’s your body and your choice. Plus, what a cool design!
2) Why Dave Navarro? Seriously… I’m curious. Having read his autobiography, I can understand why you wouldn’t think, “What would Anthony Kiedis do?”, but Dave Navarro?!?
3) WHAT A JACKHOLE!!!
4) In a perfect world, you would give that doctor a piece of your mind. It’s like calling out people who make racist or culturally insensitive remarks. However, you played the logic card there, and I think it was a smart one. I appreciate you sharing your internal dilemma with your readers!
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Dave Navarro is the host of Ink Master, so he seemed like the logical choice, and apparently he likes having his skin pierced with needles and hooks! And yes, under normal circumstances I would have said something but he definitely had the upper hand/shoulder!
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LOL that is like a conversation I had with a customer this week. He was buying 4 bags of softner salt at 20lbs per bag. I asked if he would like help. He said no he was a man. I said and? I might be a woman and I don’t need help but sometimes it is nice. And he said well you are a woman you should need help. I looked at him and said I don’t need anyone to do any lifting for me I didn’t fall and have an injury that required no heavy lifting.
The gentleman in question use to work with me in the store 15 years ago and he had to retire due to an injury to his knee from a fall and he is not suppose to lift heavy items. So ha on him.
As always I love your blog. But woman you are braver than I am as I do not have a tattoo anywhere despite everyone believing I have one covered beneath my clothes.
Happy Daylight Savings Time Canadian Neighbor! 🙂
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“No, I’m a man”? Lol, I would have laughed my ass off if he’d dropped them one on his foot! And I hate Daylight Savings so much!
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Lol I am ok with it. To me it felt like sleeping in. Instead of 6 I woke up at 6:44. A sleep in for me. 😜😜
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Allowed!? Hmm… English sounding as well? Let me just check all our toffs and ‘establishment’ people living as if still in the 18th century are still here, sounds like one of them escaped.
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I mean, it’s one thing him having that kind of attitude and another thing telling people about it! I know doctors like to think they’re gods and all that, but really!
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First let me tell you, I’m not a tattoo person but I think the new one you got is the bomb 💣! It totes fabulosity Suzanne!
As for that surgeon and his macho attitude towards his family, he has some severe issues, let me tell you. What asshole now a days would say that? Oh, on who probably doesn’t have the control he thinks he does at home. What a prick 🤬.
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I hope his wife gets a neck piece and his kids both get full sleeves. That’s his karma!
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I’m with you there sister!
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Next tattoo: “YOU CAN’T STOP PEOPLE FROM HAVING TATTOOS & IF YOU TRY YOU’RE A CONTROLLING DICKHEAD!* (*unless they are minors or really drunk, obvs.)”
We might need to edit that down a bit, thinking about it. How much space do we have to work with? 😉
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I was thinking, “You’re a misogynist dick” on the top of my shoulder–right where he can’t avoid seeing it. Short and sweet.
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I like your editing style 😉
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🤣🤣
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When I had a tattoo my eldest daughter was shocked 😳 and said how is that going to look when you’re old and wrinkly 😉 I replied, just like everyone else who is old and wrinkly. I wouldn’t mind but both my daughters have had one themselves 😂🤣🤣 I hope your shoulder is feeling better after all that?
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I’m old and wrinkly and my tattoo still looks great. lol
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Yay 😁
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A little bit, but I don’t know if it’s the barbotage or the cortisone shot. I guess time will tell–hope I’m part of the 60%!
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I was thinking something along the lines of tatting “don’t like tattoos, don’t get one you misogenistic tool”…but George said that would be rude. so then I though (and said out loud) okay what about don’t like my tattoo? I don’t like your f’ing attitude you asshole”..George laughed and said “Suzanne doesn’t need that one. Tell her to get all her book covers instead and tell people to suck off’. so there ya have it.
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If he hadn’t had a 2 inch long needle in my shoulder…tell George that’s the plan!
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Dayam! You are hard core!!! The tattoo looks great:)
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Thanks! Nathan is awesome!
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So will your future novels all be written with a tattoo in mind?
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Ooh, like The Illustrated Man!
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“And now my plan is to get ALL my book covers tattooed on me at some point, so I’m literally covered in covers.” Lol. Congrats on the tattoo!
Ugh. Well, you have some time to think of a clever comment or something to further shock the surgeon. Bring him an real estate listing brochure so he can move out of his cave.
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Ha ha! A real estate listing—I love it!
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The doctor already lost me at “Fingers crossed” and clearly he’s got control issues which, unfortunately, is common for doctors, especially surgeons. I’ll bet that if he’d been involved in any of those studies he’d tell you they had a 100% success rate. This also brings up a memory of when I was a teen and a couple of my guy friends dropped by to show me the earrings they’d just gotten. When they left my father, normally an easygoing guy, came to my room, closed the door, and in this scary angry voice told me if I even thought about getting an earring I could find another place to live. I had, and still have, no interest in getting my ear pierced, but I still think about getting a tattoo if I can ever decide on a design. I quite like yours.
And really I don’t see anything wrong with getting tattoos of your book covers. Not that it’s up to me–they’re your books, it’s your body, and being proud of both makes you a lot healthier than certain doctors.
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Yes, I think they call it the God complex, but what a ridiculous thing that he’s performing a procedure that he doesn’t even have a lot of confidence in. Earrings and tattoos–so long as you’re a good person, what difference does it make, right? I already have a great idea for The Seventh Devil–can’t wait!
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I love your tattoo. I think have all of your book covers is a great idea.
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Thanks. The older I get, the more I really want to be just covered in cool ink!
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I wonder rather than it being misogynistic, he has the view that people with tattoos are rough. It depends whether his kids are girls or not.
My Dad was very much like that, he thought tattoos meant you couldn’t get a “proper” job, so my mum went and got 2 😉 she was a nurse. I think I am the only one not to have one, just because I hate needles
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I told him my daughter had one, and that I’d gone with her to get it. Stereotypes are so weird! Good for your mom. It’s funny because I hate needles but I have no issue with getting tattooed!
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I know I read somewhere that it is very different from having your blood taken, you can a proper phobia of needles but fine with getting a tatoo.
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Hope you got a lollipop for being brave.
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No, but I got a good story out of it😁
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Your book cover tattooed on your arm? That’s brilliant. Beneath, I would put, “I wrote this book.” That part might be narcissistic, but who cares?
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Better to put the synopsis under it, then when someone says What’s it about?, I can just show them my arm!
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There you go. That will sure be an excellent response. (What a jerk. Imagine being married to such a guy. No, let us not.)
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I’m certainly glad I’m not!
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Jeez. Is there another doctor/medical care facility you can go to? Or someone above him that you can report his sexist attitude to? (And I don’t like the time switch either. I hate eating dinner/supper while it’s still light out. LOL)
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I can’t believe it’s 2021 and we’re still doing the stupid time thing. As anachronistic as that surgeon!
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I know! And the medical profession needs an update too. https://greystonebooks.com/products/pain-and-prejudice?_pos=1&_sid=58d88c65f&_ss=r&source=eyJtYWlsaW5nX2lkIjogMzUxNTM0NDUxLCAiYWNjb3VudF9pZCI6IDE4MDA1NjMsICJtZW1iZXJfaWQiOiAyMjIwMDU3OTcxfQ==
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I like that! Laughing in his face and then calling him a nerd! I know not everyone like the tats but you know it’s what someone wants. I don’t think I would have a response to what he said either though to be fair.
Looks good btw 🙂
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Thanks—I’m really happy with it. Can’t wait for the next one!
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When will that be?
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June😁
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Too long…
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You know, Suzanne, some comments are so stupid, they don’t even merit a response. You said — or, er, didn’t say — exactly the right thing.
That is so awesome you got a Dome tattoo! I always thought that if I ever had a book published, I’d have the cover art blown up to poster size and framed to hang in my office, but you’ve got me reconsidering my ambitions…
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I can just see Spex on your forearm!
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That’s a no-brainer! Just Google search old “X-ray specs” advertisements from the comic books of yore, and there are a ton of cool vintage images that would (seriously) make for a great tattoo!
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LOVE that tattoo! I’m a sucker for tattoo-related reality TV shows, Ink Master is brilliant for the drama!
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Did you see the Season 8 finale where Dave Navarro was suspended by hooks in his back/ Horrifying and fascinating all at the same time!
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Super cool tattoo, Suzanne! I love that you are doing this. Next time you see that doctor, tell him you can recommend a font that would make the word ‘asshole’ really pop if he decides to get it tattooed on his arm.
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Ooh, that’s a great idea!
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“What would Dave Navarro do?” And you’re cracking me up again. That IS a way to channel some serious badassedness:).
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I think Dave is wayyyy more badass than me but I try lol!
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I think you give him a run for his money😉
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“but I told her she’s not allowed to get one…” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Funny, but sad that someone actually puts up with that.. I love the idea of tattoos of your book covers! I have no tattoos. I love them but I can’t come up with anything I want on me forever.. Although I was toying with the idea of a zipper tattoo over my hip replacement scar.
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That would be a really cool idea!
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Funny, you posted this. I am going to get my first tattoo today. Or at least, I am thinking about it.
A little infinity (in case your are wondering). Probably not very manly, but i am so attached to that symbol.
Hope you and yours are well.
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An infinity symbol would be so appropriate for you. And of course it’s manly, if you’re a man and you like it!
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LOL
Of course, if I don’t chicken out.
I will let you know.
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sending you love & light that you’re all cured. this is why I don’t let techs talk with me when they’re taking my blood pressure…
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Damn! I don’t blame you for not saying anything, given the circumstances, but dude needs to chill. And why would he even say that to someone who has tattoos? That is so obviously offensive.
And I love the book cover tattoo… and more to come. It’s a great idea. If I ever published a book, I’d consider doing that. But it would probably end up being a picture of a half naked man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
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I know—if he has a problem with tattoos, he should keep it to his damn self. I wish it HAD been a half naked man—imagine his reaction!
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Haha 😄
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