Battle of the Build; Cover Reveal for Charybdis

As you may remember, last week I completed a miniature book nook, and I enjoyed it so much that I ordered another. It was a gothic-style library, and I was super-excited when it arrived. That excitement quickly faded to perplexity when I realized it was from a different company with VERY different expectations. Instead of stickers, it was just paper that I was supposed to glue to the little pieces of wood. Okay, I thought. I can buy some glue. Because the kit didn’t COME with glue. I went out the next day and bought white glue and a glue stick, just to be on the safe side. After I got home, I took everything else out of the box, and looked at the instructions more closely, and they were very weird. It was like if you asked a Roman General to create directions for assembly based on his life experience. Here’s the first example, on the cover page:

“The actual object will PREVAIL”? Am I in a battle to the death with this thing?!

The next set of instructions on the inside page was equally ominous:

 Bad enough that this thing might STAB me, if I fight back, I lose my rights and interests? Do I need a lawyer watching me put it together, just in case? My brother, who has a PhD., is a lawyer—perhaps I should invite him over for wine and a quick skirmish

I finally started to assemble everything, beginning with several stacks of tiny books. It was starting to get minorly enjoyable, because they DID look like tiny books even if the covers were photocopies of bizarre books that made no sense in the context; for example, a cover with an electric guitar on it. But just as my stacks were almost complete, I was forced to get violent as per this instruction:

“Make it open”? You’re god*amn right Imma make it OPEN! I was really getting into the spirit of things now. The build progressed and things got infinitely more difficult as I had to glue tiny pieces of wood onto other tiny pieces of wood and then let them dry. And I’m not the most patient person in the world so I learned about letting things DRY COMPLETELY the hard way. But letting things dry completely was a double-edged sword, as I discovered:

Ken: *snickers*
Me: What are you laughing at?
Ken: Nothing. *snickers again*
Me: Seriously, what’s so funny?!
Ken: No, really…haha!
Me: WHAT?!!
Ken: See the world map that you glued to the wall?
Me: So?
Ken: You glued it on upside down.
Me: WHAT? Oh no! And it’s completely dry! Why did you have to tell me, dammit?
Ken: YOU MADE ME.

Okay, so we all know that geography isn’t my strong suit and you have to look REALLY hard to see the map. Finally though, I was nearing the end, covered in glue, clamps and elastic bands everywhere, and all I had to do was attach the lights to the ceiling and close it all up. Except that the instructions were wrong and it took me two tries, getting the light attached twice and realizing twice that they were the wrong way. And then:

I DID, you aggressive Praetorian. See, this is why the Roman Empire fell. Terrible instructions.

In other news, my new novel Charybdis will be coming out soon, thanks to my wonderful publisher Jane Cornwell and JC Studio Press. Here’s the cover reveal, and it’s amazing!

Synopsis: When Greta Randall stumbles across a rare volume of Victorian poetry in a local antique market, she could never have imagined that it would take her on a  journey through time. The secrets she discovers along the way may shed light on the book’s mysterious young author, Louisa Duberger, but at what peril?

34 thoughts on “Battle of the Build; Cover Reveal for Charybdis”

  1. I am not keen on the assembly of things, but poor directions can make it a nightmare; at least you make it an hysterical nightmare! I particularly dislike directions given with diagrams! 

    The cover is Gorgeous!!!!! I can’t wait for your new book to be released!!!!!! 

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

  2. Suzanne, I’m reminded of a time when I was tasked to assemble a toy for my then niece. The instructions were written in poorly-translated and very broken English.

    The instructions began with step one, which was to assemble Part A to Part B. The instructions said, Part A to Part B…happy. The diagram that was included was for a completely different product entirely. I ended up staying up way too late trying to figure it out. Eventually I gave up and resolved to trash the toy and go shopping last minute for a different gift that didn’t require assembly.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
  3. barbaramullenix's avatar barbaramullenix says:

    Oh, I was hoping after all of that you would post a picture of the finished product. Not their picture, your labor of love.

    The book cover is wonderfully mysterious, and congratulations on getting it ready for publication.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    • Oh, you’re right, I should have, because it turned out quite well, and looks really lovely in our bookshelf, despite the drama! I’m glad you like the cover–I agree, very mysterious!

      Like

      Reply

  4. Surely Ken knows that maps are relative and can be turned any way since they’re two-dimensional representations of a three-dimensional world. Well, four-dimensional technically, but time isn’t usually represented on a map except as it ages and place names change. I’m overthinking this which is what happens with all projects. Anyway I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover but the cover of Charybdis makes me even more eager to read it. It’s definitely a book I’d pick up if I just saw it in a bookstore. On a reading-related note the daughter of another friend of mine just started Jane Eyre and said, “Well, they just got engaged but there’s 200 pages to go so it’s not looking good.”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  5. My fingers no longer have the dexterity or my mind the patience capable for such a project and just looking at miniature creations almost gives me a shiver😳🙄😂

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  6. For those of us used to Ikea-like scripture, being granted liberties with one’s assembly instructions would indeed beg the question, why? The “object shall prevail” — ah, these are more akin to guidelines not explicit sequential and schematic directives. “Be creative” appears to have been an unwritten preparation preface. However, doing so will null&void our contract. A bit of a mixed message there. Well, it sure turned your world upside down.

    Charybdis: Sucked into a whirlpool of intrigue and mystery. I’d have thought a bit of a stormy vortex might be the background on your cover…

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  7. Now I have this image of the piece with bloody corners, a dead body on the floor, as a forensics team reads the instructions, with one announcing, “I think we found our killer.”

    Love that cover. Gorgeous. And the premise sounds exciting. But…can you trust your book’s corners?

    Cheers

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. I’m impressed. You are the epitome of perseverance, Suzanne! Some of us don’t do “assembly required” because some of us can’t deal with the inevitable pitfalls and the rise in blood pressure that goes along with that. There should be a warning label about blood pressure alone, not to mention, the desire to throw things! I mean building anything like that could be downright dangerous in the wrong hands. BUT YOU DID IT! YAY! And the book cover and synopsis of Charybdis looks amazing! Mona

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  14. These instructions are too much! “Make it open”?! “Do not be stabbed”?! Very frustrating while working on the project, but they actually made me laugh. I especially liked the dire warning against altering or modifying the product without authorization.

    The new book cover looks SO GOOD!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a reply to Steven Baird Cancel reply