It’s Toxic

I’m currently being plagued by toxicity. No, I don’t mean I’m surrounded by toxic people—in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m particularly fortunate to have many incredible people in both my life and work. No, when I say toxic, I’m referring to the song. Yes, Toxic by Britney Spears. I’ve had that f*cking song in my head now for several days and it’s evolved from an ear worm into a serpent. At first it was amusing. “What’s that song playing in my head?” I asked myself last week. “Oh, Britney. Fun.”  A couple of days later, I was like, “Toxic? Still? What the hell?” as it became more persistent and annoying. Yesterday, it ramped up to the point where I started getting worried. Every time I stop actively thinking, I realize it’s there, playing in the background, over and over again. And the worst part is that I don’t even know all the goddamn words so it’s mostly just Britney mumbling and then belting out the chorus. I actually woke up at 3 am yesterday and the first thing I heard was “With the taste of a sip I’m drinking rye/It’s toxic, I’m hearing thunder…” and it’s even more worrisome that my brain is filling in the lyrics like THAT.

Now, I’m no stranger to the ear worm. I get them pretty regularly, thanks to good old OCD, usually based on something I’ve just listened to, but after a couple of hours or a couple of glasses of wine, they disappear. And because I have a semi-eidetic memory, I usually know the lyrics and can sing along. The week before I began my battle with the Britney Army (slight tangent: I just googled ‘what are Britney Spears’ fans called?’ but first I misspelled ‘what’ and it autofilled ‘what are hemorrhoids?’. Then I misspelled ‘Britney’ and again it autofilled with ‘what are hemorrhoids?’ To be clear, I have never done any research on that topic and thus far in my life I haven’t needed to, but it concerns me that Google associates Britney Spears with butt ailments, so I investigated further and went down a rather terrifying hemorrhoidal rabbit hole and now I know more about the topic than I ever wanted to, and I still don’t know why I can’t get Toxic out of my head.), I had Shame by Foo Fighters playing on a loop, but that was okay because a) I love Foo Fighters and b) it’s an awesome song and c) I knew all the words so I just started merrily singing along.

But now? Is it an omen? Is it a warning? Is the universe trying to tell me something? Could it be related to the sudden upswing in my OCD due to all the adhesive rug grippers I bought suddenly letting go due to several rather vigorous games of boogedy boogedy with Atlas, resulting in my carefully symmetrized rugs being askew once again (I should have known there might be issues with the product when I saw the instruction that read “For renew the sticky, wipe with cloth”)? OR…hear me out: Is Britney in danger and needs my help to free her? Well, if that’s the case, she’s sh*t out of luck, because we’re under yet another stay at home order. Sorry, Brit. At this point, I’m just resigned to having the damn song in my head forever. And you know what they say—the next step after resignation is acceptance, so hit me baby, one more time.

Quilt Update: All patches are cut, and the design has been laid out. Ken figured out how to use the sewing machine because he made a wooden marionette out of some scrap wood and decided to sew it a little shirt and pair of pants. I’ve named the marionette Marty, and he’s adorable in a kind of grotesque way and definitely has Ken’s fashion sense, but at least now Ken can teach me how to sew. Also, just in case you think I haven’t been busy, I also made this cool bookcase out of a 1970s grandfather clock shell.

55 thoughts on “It’s Toxic”

  1. Omg, what a song to have stuck!! I feel your pain about the rugs. I’ve resigned to only buying rugs that have nonslip backing or ones that can be held in place my pieces of furniture. Also, I LOVE THAT CLOCK!! I also enjoy rehabbing old furniture. I’m always working on something.

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  2. That clock bookshelf is a super idea!! I love it, your so creative, I wish I had that in me…but sadly I don’t. What a song to have stuck in your head, I can’t stand it, the stings alone at the beginning are like nails on a chalkboard for me.

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  4. (Sorry, hit send by mistake)
    Here: https://youtu.be/w9JDrf1QBO4. And I thought wow I like it! Then I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’ve never heard the Brittany version but it can’t beat the Alex and Sierra one. However they won the voice that season much to my disappointment because I thought that was their one worthy effort in the show. Cool bookcase and good luck with the quilt!😄

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  5. Oh, the ear worms… I wish there were some drops I could use to kill them! My personal record (which lasted for weeks) was Sinatra’s ”Fly me to the Moon”. I had it for so long that after a while, my co-workers voted to forbid that anyone would so much as hum the song at the office (the rule still applies, and it’s been years). Have you tried listening to ”Toxic”? I know it helps me sometimes… It’s a little as if my brain can’t remember the whole song, and bugs me with it, until I let it listen to the whole tune. If that doesn’t work, just let me know… I’ll record a YouTube video to tell Britney to ”LEAVE SUZUNE ALOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!” LOL

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  6. I was just thinking about all the stuff in your home. I hope you never have to move.

    “I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK…” had that one in my head for a few days, so, consider yourself lucky.

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  10. I had a few days & nights of Great Fire by XTC which, if I hadn’t been a fan, would have sent me potty (if you’ve never heard it it’s worth a listen). I generally find that the best thing to do is to listen to lots of other music that you know & love so that there’s a constantly refreshing ear worm play list. My latest one is Somewhere in my Heart by Aztec Camera 😁

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  13. Weirdly that song has been stuck in my head too lately, mainly because I’ve been seeing promos all over the place for the film Promising Young Woman and of course they have to play a bit of that song–specifically the violin notes, like it’s the shower music from Psycho which I’ve also had stuck in my head, and which makes “Toxic” sound like “Tiptoe Through The Tulips”.
    As a side note there’s a documentary about Tiny Tim that’s narrated by Weird Al Yankovic and that’ll definitely get “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” stuck in your head.
    Sometimes when friends tell me they have a song stuck in their head I say, “Well, there’s only one way to fix that. OH MICKEY YOU’RE SO FINE, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY MICKEY!”
    Anyway the bookcase is cool–my grandfather used to make grandfather clocks, and the cases are nice but maintaining the clock workings is a pain–but I’m more interested in Marty. He looks like a cool guy who might be up to wiping your rug grippers with cloth to renew the sticky.

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  17. When I post my songs on Mondays, I always call them earworms (thanks to another blogger from way back then always accusing me of giving out earworms)… but they really are for me. Once I write the post for that song (usually on Saturday or Sunday), I’ll have it in my head for at least a day or two. I hate it when an annoying song (usually of recent vintage) I hear at work gets stuck in my head. Even though I can’t stand it, there I am singing along to it hours later like it’s my favorite song. Thankfully, that’s never happened with “Toxic,” because I really can’t stand that one…

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  19. That bookcase is stunning! Not going to thank you for putting Toxic in my head though. I have to listen to it enough when my Dad is around. He weirdly has the same taste in music as most teenage girls in the 90s and Toxic is up there with his favourite songs of all time!

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  20. I don’t know if I could handle 24/7 Britney. I don’t know that song and just to be safe I’m not going to listen to it. Ken’s doll is adorable in a creepy sort of way and I love the wardrobe. And finally, Suzanne, the clock bookcase is amazing. I love that!

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