Breaking The Mold

Update: I posted the following, and then went to WordPress and saw all the comments–from NOVEMBER 2023! I have no idea what’s going in. I literally couldn’t find any evidence that this post had EVER gone live, until I published it, seemingly for the first time, and discovered that it had, indeed been previously posted, to very great success. I had done keyword searches, looked through all my posts, and nothing. So my only conclusion is that it’s The Pirate’s Revenge!

Every time I look at my list of posts on WordPress, I see one in my drafts folder called Blow Molds. I remember writing it—Ken remembers reading it after I initially wrote it, and it never even occurred to me that I had never posted it. It was supposed to go live on Sunday, November 19 2023. I realized this week after investigating that IT NEVER GOT POSTED AND NONE OF YOU EVER SAID “WHERE IS THIS WEEK’S POST, MYDANGBLOG?!” At any rate, it was really funny, so I’m posting it this week so I hope you enjoy it, even almost 2 years later when I no longer work in an antique market:

It’s gotten quite a lot busier at work lately. First, because the summer construction project that was supposed to finish in September is finally done, and people have actually stopped using the antique market parking lot as a bypass/speedway and are now parking and shopping, and second, because Christmas is coming and everyone buys their Christmas antiques in November. The current trend, carried over from last year is BLOW MOLDS. If you don’t know what a blow mold is, it’s a large plastic figure in the shape of a Santa or a Snowman, made out of plastic which has been blown into a mold—hence the name. They plug in and light up at night, turning your house into a veritable winter wonderland, even if you still don’t have any snow. These things are getting as expensive to buy as ceramic Christmas trees (you know, the ones everybody’s grandma had in the 70s). And the more savvy collectors are looking for the extra, the unique, the really hard-to-find ones. Currently, about the cashier’s counter, we have a giant blow mold Santa in a blow mold sleigh, with a team of blow mold reindeer pulling him. Along the side, it says “Noel”, which already caused a stir because one of the young bosses had apparently never taken French in school and thought that Noel was Santa’s first name, like “Noel Santa Claus” and we all had a good laugh until someone corrected him.

And it’s no surprise that on Wednesday, my boss came to the till with an older couple. He pointed up to the shelf above the cash counter and told his brother to get a step stool so they could get a purchase down. I was standing ready as the couple came to my till. My boss called over the vendor number and the price, which I thought was extremely high, but then again, it WAS a lot of blow mold, and in the item description I typed “Santa Reindeer Blow Mold” as one would. The woman who was buying was quite excited:

Me: That’s a really awesome one. Good for you—great find.
Woman: I know. It’s so cool.
Me: I’ve never seen one like that before—really unique.
Woman: It’s perfect. Our foyer is a pirate ship.

And if you’re like me at all, you probably just did a double take. “Our foyer is a pirate ship”?? And several things went through my mind simultaneously, like 1) What the f*ck does she mean? Does she actually LIVE on a pirate ship, the bow of which she considers her foyer or 2) Is the foyer in her home DECORATED like a pirate ship? And 3) Why the f*ck would anyone a) live in a pirate ship or b) decorate their home like one and 4) The biggest question of all is HOW THE HELL IS THIS GIANT SANTA/SLEIGH/REINDEER COMBINATION A PART OF THE PIRATE MOTIF??!!

I had a vision of the whole thing hanging from the ceiling above the foredeck with pirates down below all gesturing and threatening it with their pirate swords and whatnot, when I suddenly realized that the guys had simply moved the whole blow mold out of the way to retrieve a huge, framed shadow box that was full of replica pistols. And then the whole thing suddenly made sense in that weird “it doesn’t really make sense that anyone would be that jazzed about pirate decorating” but at least the fake guns were more aligned with the aesthetic. Afterwards, my boss had to correct the item description in the computer system so the vendor wouldn’t be confused over someone paying $600 for a blow mold instead of his gun box. But it was surreal.

68 thoughts on “Breaking The Mold”

  2. Happy belated birthday!

    I actually saw a blow mold decoration out not too long ago, and the term came right back to me after not hearing it in a good 20 years or so. I’ve been working in retail so long, I actually remember when we sold blow molds! It’s where I learned the term for what those things were called. If there’s one more reason for me to hate those stupid inflatable yard decorations, it’s realizing now that they’re what killed the beloved blow mold!

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  3. Happy belated birthday! The addition of a Noel Santa in a sleigh, as opposed to a Noel Coward in a sleigh, would be just the thing a pirate motif could use for the holidays. Obviously pirates are naughty so they’d get a lot of coal in their stockings but I could see pirates putting coal to good use. They also have very large stockings so they’d get a lot of coal.
    I’m overthinking this too much. I had an aunt who made ceramics and even taught ceramics classes in the ‘70’s. She made some spectacular Christmas decorations, like a Christmas tree with an interior light that lit up multicolored bulbs all over its “branches”. It’s a bit sobering to me to think now that it would be considered an antique now.

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  4. Ah, this takes me back! I’m definitely old enough to remember those blow mold items with 100-watt light bulbs inside. In the 70’s and 80’s, we were more charmed by the novelty than cautious about safety, weren’t we? It was all about the bright colors and quirky designs.

    And oh, the Christmas decorations! Those plastic beads that we’d arrange in a pattern and then carefully melt together in the oven. It felt like magic, watching them transform into something festive and bright. Those were the days of hands-on creativity, where every decoration had a personal touch.

    Who could forget the sun catchers, right? Those little plastic beads and their metal frames, catching the light in such a delightful way. It was like capturing a piece of sunshine right in our own homes.

    Speaking of memories, here’s a picture of my wife and I sitting on the largest blow mold I’ve ever seen. I’d love to have one of these at our farm, I just don’t know how Amelia would feel about this.

    Lastly, a happy belated birthday to you! Your humor, especially those pirate ship gags, has always been a source of laughter and joy. Here’s to many more years of fun and reminiscing about the good old days! 🙂

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  5. Blow molds… TIL. Those hollow plastic character things, like artificial trees and all the decorations strewn about one’s home during the holidays that must be stored /somewhere/, out of sight, out of mind until the overwhelming spirit takes you.
    Had to be sure… https://tinyurl.com/mtbscwpm

    Pirate Santa, Bad Santa, Satan Santa, Killer Krampus — all seem appropriate these days.
    I’ll wager the pirate version would steal your presents rather than bestow them.

    “Where are all the presents, Mom? And why does it smell like rum, gun powder and fish in here?”

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  6. Aww Happy Birthday my friend, I hope it was as special as that blow mold misunderstanding, lol. That is hilarious, her telling you her foyer is a pirate ship (themed) and you wondering how a Santa blow mold would even go with that decor. I’d be thinking the same thing, like how the hell? That’s mixing decor genres all together and would be an interior design disaster for sure! 😝

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  8. Don’t even ask where my mind went when I first read your title. Ha! That’s one of the things I enjoy about your blogs, though, Suzanne — I always learn something and they’re always fun to read! Hope you had a wonderful birthday (but it’s still your birthday WEEKEND!) so I hope you’re still celebrating! Hugs, Mona

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  16. Which leaves the whole foyer/pirate thing still unresolved. And the fact that people doing their Christmas antique shopping bought guns.
    I’m also, for some odd reason, envisioning Rudolph with his shiny nose, eye-patch, and peg-leg which is, upon landing on rooftops, punching through the shingles.

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  21. I certainly remember your blow molds post, as it’s not often someone talks about blow molds…. especially during the several decades when they were no longer viable holiday decorations (and I say holiday because it is now perfectly legal to decorate for any holiday or season of the year. Retail has assimilated us)….

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    • I know! I was sure it had gone live but it was sitting in drafts, and even now, if I go to my website, it’s not listed under November 2023! But no longer viable? My Santa will live forever (or until global warming melts him down!)

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  22. I think I remember this one, and I see above that I even commented on it back in 2023. Well, that explains why the last two Christmases I kept getting this weird idea of Santa with an eyepatch flying through the air with a flintlock in one hand and a saber in the other.

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  23. barbaramullenix's avatar barbaramullenix says:

    I wish she had a picture of her foyer to show you. I keep picturing walking into her front door and having it come to a point as a ships bow would do. Funny, but I still can’t ‘like’ on this page. I wonder if it’s because it’s an old post? Or just WP doesn’t give a darn about my opinion…..

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  25. Happy Birthday!! Wow, I learn something new from you every post, as I too didn’t know that’s what those weird, plastic, plug-in light up things were called. My grandparents indeed did have a set of those blow molds, Santa in his sleigh, all eight reindeer in front. But my grandfather rigged it to like like the sleigh was going airborne by using wire and tying to one oh his mulberry trees in the front yard. I loved to see it at night as a kid. And I too would be, what the heck is with the pirate foyer!? And then, that must look really ugly…..😝

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  27. ‘Like’ !! Apologies but apparently I have to start typing a comment before I’m recognized as being on WordPress. But as comments come at the very end of a long list of comments, I’m too lazy to go back up to the top just to press the Like button [which still doesn’t work for me half the time]. I’ve just given up. WordPress is becoming unusable.

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