Need Versus Have

The other day, Ken and I were doing ‘Fun Thursday’, where we pick an interesting place to visit and go there. It used to be ‘Fun Friday’, but then Ken got a job, and he was too tired to do anything for the rest of the week, but now he’s unemployed (it’s okay—he’s retired and has a pension). I currently have a job at an amazing bookstore, but I have much more stamina when it comes to doing things during the week, even though I’m several months older than Ken. Anyway, we were on our way to Chiefswood Historic Site, which is this really cool mansion built by a hereditary Chief of the Six Nations, and on the way there, I reminded Ken that he needed to finish cleaning out his office:

Me: Taking 10 year old hydro bills out of one binder does not constitute ‘cleaning up’.
Ken: When was the last time YOU got rid of stuff?
Me: I donated an entire bag of purse straps to Goodwill YESTERDAY, KEN.
Ken: Why did you have so many in the first place?
Me: Because I live by that timeless adage, ‘It’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.’
Ken: Good point. I might need those hydro bills.
Me: YOU WON’T. Although I’m starting to worry about the purse straps…

But then we began making a list of things that it was good to have and not need, than to need and not have:

1) A generator. Occasionally, our power goes off. Like if it’s mildly windy, or slightly snowy, or the rain is falling at more than a gentle trickle. And once, it snowed quite a bit and we lost power for three days, at which point, we went out and bought a generator. We haven’t used it since, but still…

2) One lime. I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve suddenly needed a lime for a spontaneous dish that required a shot of citrus, and didn’t have one. Luckily, we have a lot of neighbours who like Margaritas.

3) Kittens. I have often needed a therapy kitten but didn’t have one. Now, I have a wonderful kitty and while I don’t always need her, I have her at my disposal. On Friday, after we drove an hour and a half to the airport to pick up our daughter and her boyfriend at 5:30 in the morning, only to discover that they weren’t flying in until Saturday, and then had to drive the hour and a half home again, I came into the house, got back into bed, and Ilana settled herself across my chest and fell asleep with my arms around her. I definitely needed that. Dogs also fall under this category. I always have a dog. And I always need one. Atlas is like a therapy dog, if your anxiety is soothed by someone else racing around like a maniac, trying to chase the cat and yelling, “Ma!! A skunk!! It’s a skunk!!” But at night, if I offer him a little wine, he WILL snuggle me.

4) Oil of oregano. Trust me, it’s much better to have this sh*t and not need it. And if you need it, you’d better make sure you have a wine chaser. In the same vein, it’s much better to have wine and not need it, than need it and not have it. I regularly need some wine and I’m lucky that my dad and I regularly bottle A LOT of wine so I always have it.

5) Snow tires. I just got my summer tires swapped out. I’d never had snow tires until 2014 when I got the car that I’m still driving. My previous car was made out of plastic but even still, it never needed snow tires. The first time I drove my current car on a snowy day, I almost ended up in the ditch and I did what any normal person would do—I called Ken:

Ken: What’s wrong?
Me: This car is STUPID!!
Ken: Why?
Me: I HATE IT.
Ken WHY?!
Me: It won’t drive in the snow!
Ken: You should get snow tires.
Me: WHERE IS MY THERAPY KITTEN?

6) Husbands: I’m pretty self-sufficient, but still, sometimes I need Ken. Like for reaching up high, or taking the lid off a jar, or driving me around in the dark because my night vision is sh*t, or massaging my shoulder when I’m in pain, or generally just being super-supportive of everything I do. Like last week, I was on the radio again, and after, I did what any normal person would do—I called Ken:

Me: How did I sound?
Ken: You were amazing. I’m so proud of you!
Me: What did you break?
Ken: What? Nothing!…
Me: Did you hurt yourself with a power tool again?
Ken: No! I just really love you, and I’m so happy I’m married to you!

Yeah—I have him AND I need him. He’s better than a lime, that’s for sure.

37 thoughts on “Need Versus Have”

  2. The motto of every hoarder ever! I have lots of things that are nice to have, but that I’ll probably never need… like all kinds of boxes (unbroken down) from deliveries and a car console full of salt and pepper packets for drive thru eating I rarely do anymore (I used to keep them in the ashtray in my old Neon, but the Sonic is apparently a no smoking car)…

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  3. I’m surprised books didn’t make the list. Sure, kittens, dogs, and generators are essential, but it’s also important to have something to read. If your internet is unavailable you can always count on paper and ink. It’s why, even though I work for a library, I still keep a pretty large collection of tomes handy. Although I should get rid of a few and make space on the bookshelf for some oregano oil.

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  4. Thanks again for the laughs. I too am guilty of having one too many purses, which is why I’ve gifted two of them to a friend in need. As for wants versus needs, Amelia and I needed an electric vehicle in anticipation of gas prices in the United States going absolutely bonkers next year. It’s going to happen. Trust me. Amelia is hardly ever wrong about this. And we needed all-season snow-rated tires for our new truck.

    As for wants, I always wanted a fire truck. However, there are a few things to consider; things like legality of owning one privately in Vermont (surprisingly, they have laws about that), and we would need a barn to park it. It’s an absolute nightmare logistically, but Amelia is still on the fence about it, so there’s still hope.

    Perhaps our greatest need is a generator for our house, which we had installed a few years ago. I’ve since upgraded our internet and added on-site data storage and a massive backup battery. Amelia has a legitimate need for Internet service, and without it, we often resort to driving somewhere that has it whenever it’s out. For this reason, our server is on a battery backup that will last an hour, which is also backed up by a standby generator for the house.

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  6. If the apocalypse hasn’t set in yet, and I’m out and about, all I need is a credit card. “If I need something and don’t have it…”
    But if the world is in collapse then a good multi-tool and a tarp would be my “better have and not need” list. A shotgun would be handy, too. Fishing gear would help. Maybe an axe.

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  7. Oh, you so smushy 😄

    You & Ken, sitting in a tree,

    Asking critical questions about how you got there and how are you going to drink wine now, KEN?

    I think my wife also concedes that I have my uses (spider removal being quite high on the list).

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  8. I can vouch for the generator. Most of the time it sits in the shed but when the power goes out it’s worth its weight in gold. I don’t have a therapy kitten but love my cuddle pups. (I’m not sure I don’t NEED them.) Will be getting snow tires on this week. It may be worth noting that not all husbands are created equal but like you I got a good one. 🙂

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  10. A decent start for your list but you overlooked coffee. Good god, I couldn’t believe that you overlooked coffee but then I assumed, you lacked coffee to boost your thinking, so you couldn’t think of coffee. Always must have coffee on hand for today and tomorrow at least so if you’re going to run out, you have time to go get more.

    Same with toilet paper but I can work around not having toilet paper. I’ve lived in places where we existed sans TP.

    But I can’t believe you didn’t go into nuts and screws. Companies realize his, because they always provide extra. Or, I always end up with extras. And I never throw them out. I even laid out what to do with them in my will, nut by nut.

    Cheers

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  12. You definitely need Ken, he’s your straight man. And he’s the one that goes and does the things you can’t, like grab you some more of that wine you also have and need! You guys make a great team might I add, your like Starsky and Hutch, Ponch and Jon, Sherlock and Holmes, Bo and Luke, Cagney and Lacey…you get where I’m going with this right? lol

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