Within A Month!

The other day, I was out doing errands. I must have gone to three different plazas to buy things from at least 2 stores at each one. At some point, I realized that whenever I took a step, it sounded like one of my flipflops was making a shuffling/scraping sound. I figured it was just the asphalt, but eventually, it started to trigger my misophonia, so I got to the car, and looked at the bottom of my shoe. Stuck to the underside of my flipflop was a bright neon green sticky note. It was slightly crumpled up. I unfolded it, and it said: “One month from July 25th”. That was all.

And I was like, what kind of message from the universe is THIS??!! I didn’t know whether I should be feeling optimistic or terrified. And I have an entire month to wonder about this and anticipate either the best, or the WORST August 25 in existence. According to my google calendar, that’s a Sunday, and so far, I have nothing on. I plan to keep it that way. On August 25th, you’ll find me huddled under the covers in my bedroom, listening for the sound of a fuselage that has snapped off an airplane and is heading for my roof. Why? Because my bedroom is the safest place I can think of to be, but I’ve also seen Donnie Darko, and I’m the Queen of Worst Case Scenarios.

Then I also thought about the person who WROTE the note, and what wonderful or terrible thing they were anticipating when they scribbled down this dire, and very vague prediction. Because if it was supposed to be a reminder, it’s a sh*tty one:

The phone rings…

Person 1: Where the hell are you?!

Person 2: In bed, why?

Person 1: Because it’s August 25! THE 25TH! One month to the day we first met! I’m standing here surrounded by 80 of our closest friends and family and you’re a no-show! Your parents are FURIOUS.

Person 2: My parents are there?!

Person 1: Who do you think paid for the whole thing?? Your dad keeps telling everyone that you’d forget your own name if it wasn’t written on your forehead.

Person 2: Yeah, that tattoo really hurt.

Person 1: Did you even try to remember? Did you write it down?!

Person 2: I put it on a sticky note…but then I lost the note.

Person 2: The wedding is off, BOB! (hangs up)

Person 1: Dang.

Personally, I can’t remember to do things I wrote down TWO days ago, let alone thirty. In fact, earlier this week, Ken asked me if I had anything on in the morning because he remembered I’d written something on the calendar in the kitchen. I looked and it said, “Clock.” And I didn’t have the faintest idea what that meant (although I certainly had high hopes), until I looked at my google calendar where I had typed in Chuck. Chuck is our travel agent and I was supposed to see him that morning. I was minorly let down because Chuck is, obviously and sadly, not a clock.

Anyway, the days will keep counting down until August 25. I’m sure there’s a wonderfully spooky story in there somewhere, just waiting to be told, but first I have to get through the next month. And if you don’t hear from me that Sunday, you’ll know why…

33 thoughts on “Within A Month!”

  1. There is a website called Found Magazine that collects and publishes notes that people have found. The one that got stuck to your shoe is truly a mystery. I know that you still have a job, but this commenter thinks that this situation needs to be investigated throughly. 😉

    Thank you for the laughs and entertainment this morning. 🙂

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  3. The mystery to me is why someone would write that out as a note. Why not just write…… August 25th? Unless they forgot which month came after July, or just didn’t want to waste an entire sticky note on just one word and a number…

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  4. Well if the person who wrote this note is like my boss, they use several stickies to write on something instead of da damned note pad! For bosses day we got him a planner, but he still uses stickies and a spiral bound notebook. Which coincidental are FILLED WITH STICKY NOTES!! So maybe the note you found was one of several that explained what is planned for August 25th. I’m just putting out a scenario I myself go through at work all the time. I once found a purple sticky note that feel out of his “notebook” that said “poison that astronauts are for……” and that’s where it ended. 🙄

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  6. It’s the weird phrasing that gets me. “One month from July 25th” is an oddly specific way to note a date. Why not the specific date? But at least “one month” makes more sense than “thirty days” or “four weeks and two days” or “two and one-sevenths of a fortnight” or “720 hours”. If they got really detailed it would sound like they were trying to parcel out the time, as though they were dreading the end. At least “one month from” sounds ambiguous enough that it could be positive. At least it was. They’ll never remember it now.

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  7. Questions…
    Why not write August 25th instead? What does the delta approach induce? The “one month” seems significant. Like “I/we have one month to… Lose 10 lbs, make $10k, kill the bastard, sign a new client…”
    Are they thinking in days? 31, given July’s duration? Or in the more standard 30 days in a month? Was it a note of alarm, or maybe a threat? Or maybe a page from a longer story?
    A curious clue.

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  8. My only comment is you either have very clean soles on your shoes or very clean sidewalks or streets that you’re walking on. Seriously – it was stuck on the bottom of your shoe and it looks like you just wrote it? It’s so clean😳😂

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  10. Maybe it’s for eyedrops? I buy the ones in the little dripper bottles and you’re meant to only use it for a month. So I write the date on which I opened it, but on the bottle…Hmm…

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  11. Once I opened a fortune cookie and it said I will be hit by a 1972 Volkswagen Bug. Naturally I was skeptical, and told the people I was with, wow, that was very specific but I wasn’t buying it. In fact, to prove a point I asked our server for another fortune cookie. I cracked it open and pulled the strip of paper out. It said, yellow.

    Later that day I was indeed struck by a ’72 Volkswagen, but it was red. So, you know, whatever.

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  12. I know this misses the point of your (excellent and hilarious) post, but I am impressed by the stickiness of that note. Obviously it’s a 3M product, because the knock-off sticky notes that we have in our office are useless and don’t STICK AT ALL, and why can’t we have the genuine ones! Anyway. First world problems.

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