Don’t Blink Or You’ll Miss It

Last weekend, the local Lions Club had a charity auction. It was pretty good as auctions go, especially since a lot of area businesses donated brand new items. I bid on a few things, like some Lego for Kate and a bunch of old spindles that I told Ken he could use for outdoor woodcrafts. Then the auctioneer put up a new Blink home security system. We already have a Blink camera in the kitchen that I use when Ken’s away overnight. It’s hidden inside something (I refuse to be more specific, but I promise we never use it when we’re home with other people and I can assure you that I have never forgotten to turn it off and then been mortified at a notification featuring a clip of me dancing around the kitchen island while I cook), and unless the lights are on at night, it won’t pick up any movement that triggers the camera.

Anyway, I bid on the security system and got it for a really good price. So on Thursday night, after researching and reading the instructions and getting the exterior cameras set up, Ken mounted them outside the house on either side of our porch. That’s when I realized that when I armed them, it would also turn on the kitchen camera. But that’s okay, I thought, since there’s nothing in our kitchen at night. And then I woke up on Friday morning to TWO notifications that the kitchen camera had been triggered around 3 am and there were video clips and OH MY GOD, YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I SAW WHEN I REPLAYED THEM.

And if you know me at all, you’re most likely thinking that it was a ghost. And you would be wrong. IF ONLY it was a ghost, because it was not.

Take a second and try to guess what it could have possibly been. I’ll wait...

Here is what I saw on the screen of my phone, and I really hope you can watch it:

sheer-terrorDownload

H. R. Giger has nothing on this thing and all I know is that it’s still in my kitchen somewhere and I will never be able to dance there again…

In other news, my new novel Charybdis is getting excellent reviews–here’s one by the Founding Editor of a prominent Canadian review site, The Miramichi Reader. Being compared to Edgar Allen Poe made me scream almost as much as when I saw what was on my kitchen camera:

29 thoughts on “Don’t Blink Or You’ll Miss It”

  1. When Amelia and I first settled on our farm here in Vermont, we encountered unexpected visitors at all hours, day and night. Their arrival, often in old pickup trucks laden with assorted items, led us to suspect their intentions were less than honorable, likely aimed at theft.

    In response, Amelia and I took measures to secure our premises. We started by displaying “No Trespassing” signs, then escalated our efforts by installing surveillance cameras at all entry points and around our property. Yet, this did little to deter the uninvited guests who continued to intrude regardless of the time.

    Driven by necessity, I eventually posted signs indicating that the property owner was armed—a statement grounded in truth, as I am legally permitted to carry a concealed firearm both on my property and elsewhere, and often do. Remarkably, this action has led to a noticeable absence of trespassers. While I’m unclear about the legal standings in Canada, it seems the mere suggestion of an armed presence on the property has served as a significant deterrent. 🙂

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  2. Omg!! What is that thing!!! I thought for sure some smoky apparition would float by, but that, that leggy, antenna, creepy (not to mention gross) thing is even scarier. Ugh, I have one camera in my house but it’s only turned on when I go to work. It’s to keep an eye on Charlie and Wayne (my cats.). Because Charlie was getting on my couches and scratching them. And totally messing up my mini blinds so I put up a camera with a speaker to yell at him to stop being a douche canoe of a cat. I got your new book from Amazon, I’m going to finish my current book before I start yours. Hope you, Ken and Kate are doing well 😉.

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  3. I think I recognize that critter as one that eats other pests, so, really, it’s kind of a cleaner working in your kitchen. And, like you, it takes the occasional time to dance. Okay, I realize that’s still not exactly comforting, and its scientific name, Scutigera coleoptrata, still sounds pretty horrifying. I try to tell people creatures like that are really good and it usually elicits the response “I don’t care if it cures cancer and spits out sunshine and kittens! I don’t want it anywhere near me!”
    Speaking of eliciting responses if I didn’t already have Charybdis on order this is how I’d respond to that review:

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    • Oh yeah, ,that’s the varmint! At first, I thought it said Cleopatra! I read up on it and apparently I have nothing to worry about unless it crawls into my hair…then the dancing will begin! Love the gif, thanks!

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