My Week 122: Racists Are Stupid

Friday: Racists are stupid.

So I’m probably not telling you something you don’t already know about racists with THAT title. I just wanted to reaffirm it for all of us. Oh, I’m sure there are some of them who claim to have high IQs, but still, they’re stupid in the ways that matter. On Friday night, Ken and I were watching TV and a show called “Marketplace” came on. It’s kind of an investigative news show, and it’s on CBC not Fox “News”, so you know it’s totally legit, because the CBC never lies. I think that’s actually their motto or something. Anyway, the show hired actors to portray white supremacist/neo-nazi types (by the way, spellcheck just told me to capitalize the “n” on nazi but I’m not going to, because nazis don’t deserve capitals. Then spellcheck tried to autocorrect the “n”, and now I’m worried about you, spellcheck.) They had fake T-shirts printed which said things like “White Power”, “White Pride World Wide”, and “Make Canada Great Again”, then they went to three places to see how many Canadians would buy them. First, they went to Alliston, Ontario, the home riding of current Progressive Conservative Leadership candidate and alt-right queen, Kellie Leitch. She’s the one who wants to screen immigrants, refugees, and visitors to Canada to make sure they have “Canadian Values”, values which, as evidenced by Marketplace, many Canadians don’t have themselves. Several people in Alliston bought the shirts, and Marketplace tried to interview them afterwards, without much success, except for one woman who said, “If you want to come here to support Canada, then support Canada—live our way. You know, if you’re not happy with it, keep it to yourself, celebrate your own way but don’t change who we are or what we stand for.” And Ken and I were like “Huh? Who is she talking about?” And this is why racists are stupid. The first thing I did when she said that was look up “Are immigrants to Canada happy?” According to a recent study by Statistics Canada, of the 43 immigrant groups who’ve come here, only 3 said they weren’t as happy as they were back home. One, Columbia was discounted, because they weren’t really happy in Columbia either. The other two were New Zealand and The Netherlands. So, is this who she’s referring to? Does she think wind turbines are the insidious Dutch way of trying to convert us to their crazy windmill religion? Or does she believe that New Zealanders want us to start speaking their own weird language (which is English, but maybe she thinks it SOUNDS foreign)? I jest, of course—you and I both know that, although she didn’t say it, she meant non-white people.

Another intellectual giant explained his purchase in this way: “Different races are trying to change our way of life that’s been going on for hundreds of years”. HUNDREDS. Canada has only been around since 1867, so is he talking about the Neanderthal way of life? I could understand this logic if he was a member of the First Nations, but no, he was just a stupid person. This whole idea of “Our way of life/don’t change who we are” is, again, alt-right propaganda. It usually rears its ugly head around Christmas, where social media is full of memes like, “If I say Merry Christmas, how many people aren’t afraid to say it back?” The answer is NO ONE. It’s CANADA. The Southeast Asian guy who owns the gas station on the corner of my small town had free coffee for all his customers on Christmas Day. The Muslims in the International Language School I used to run gave us Christmas cards before the holidays. No one is trying to change your way of life, scared white lady. Except maybe the atheists. After Christianity, which makes up 67% of Canadian religious affiliation, the next largest, and growing affiliation, is non-belief at almost 25%. All those other religions you’re so worried about make up 7.2 % of Canada’s population.

The second woman who bought a shirt said this gem: I am anti-immigration. I believe that we have to worry more about ourselves. Close the border completely. Don’t let anyone in. It’s MY opinion.

When the reporter questioned her further, she said she had nothing against non-white people; in fact, she “has a lot of coloured friends”. Somehow, I doubt that, just like I doubt her ability to get herself dressed in the morning without a little help. As I always say, her level of stupidity is so deep that I would get the bends trying to come up from it. I don’t know how long she’s been in Canada, but she should be happy that people didn’t have that attitude when HER ancestors came here. Could you imagine what Canada would look like today if the founding fathers had said, “OK, we’re good. No one else gets to come in”? We’d be a nation of 30 blind guys with no hands and tiny penises. Also, there would be no Tim Horton’s. Again, do your research, silly girl. Canada has a declining birth rate. Without immigrants, we will have no skilled workforce within 25 years. If you really want to close the border, you better start having lots of babies. But this is the thing that Kellie Leitch won’t tell you: Canada already has a very stringent screening process for immigrants, starting with “Find out if you’re eligible to immigrate to Canada”, which I just tried to fill in and pretty much failed because it kept telling me to fill in a particular field, which I did, but it kept saying to do it again and again until I gave up. So guess what, Canada? This 37-year-old single dude from Azerbaijan will NOT be immigrating any time soon. (I’m not sure where Azerbaijan is—it was just the last country that started with A and it sounded cool).

I was watching SNL last night, and the host, Aziz Ansari, referred to the new phenomenon, the “kkk lite”, people who don’t dress in creepy costumes but who hold the same kind of attitudes. Except until now, they just pretended NOT to be racist. Now, they feel empowered to buy racist T-shirts in public, and say “It’s MY opinion,” like they have the right to be morons. I was on Twitter yesterday, and I saw Richard Spencer, a self-proclaimed “white nationalist” or “kkk lite” guy, get punched in the face while he was being interviewed by reporters. First, why the hell is ANYONE interviewing this douche-canoe? Why does anyone care what the little weasel thinks? Second, he looked really hurt, not physically but like EMOTIONALLY, after he got cold-cocked, like he wanted to cry because he couldn’t believe it had happened. Personally, I can’t believe it doesn’t happen more OFTEN. And the fact that he didn’t believe he deserved to be punched in the face for being a racist twat tells you how stupid he is.

Imaginary conversation with the kkk lite.

Me: Why are you dressed like a cheap-ass ghost? You know Hallowe’en isn’t until October, right?
kkk guy: I’m not a ghost. I’m a wizard. A grand wizard.
Me: Whoa there, Hogwarts. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. You haven’t done any magic yet. Can you turn lead into gold? Where’s your wand? Is it hiding under your Ikea bed sheet?
kkk guy: Ergh. Immigrants are taking all the good jobs.
Me: What? You can’t even do a card trick. You’re a sh*tty wizard–an immigrant could do YOUR job better.
kkk guy: Please don’t punch me.

But it’s not all bad. For every racist who bought a T-shirt, whether it was in Alliston, downtown Toronto, or Barrie, Ontario, there were plenty of other people who confronted the actors to tell them they were offensive, called the police, or yelled at them to f*ck off with their racism because “This is Canada.” Let’s hope so. But what I really want to know is this: if Kelly Leitch, through some bizarre set of Trumpian circumstances, does become the Prime Minister of Canada, will she also deport people who don’t adhere to the values of tolerance, freedom of religion, and equality like the idiots on Marketplace? Now, THAT would be smart.

(Just for the record, I compiled all the information above by researching it on something called “the internet”. I wish people would use it more often, before they say stupid things like, “Immigrants are taking all the good jobs”, or Kevin O’Leary will Make Canada Great Again.” It’s already great, thanks.)

10 thoughts on “My Week 122: Racists Are Stupid

  1. Without going too much into the US and it’s obvious recent problems, I read a study once in which Muslim Americans were the group with the highest satisfaction rate with the direction of America. We’re happy here, in aprt, I suppose, because we can see what’s happening in the nations of our ancestors…

    This contrasts a lot with the people who just voted in our new President, all of whom seemed to be in agreement that everything was going to hell in a handbasket.

    So if people need to leave if they’re not happy with things (as opposed to working to change things, as everyone’s ancestors did!), then maybe it’s the angry white people who should leave.

    But they didn’t.

    They worked to bring change, even if it was stupid change, because that’s what people do.

    I am sure there’s hypocrisy in there somwhere, but I’ve just made my head hurt…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes–I found it ironic that the people least happy with being in Canada were from what we would consider mostly white countries where the standard of living is pretty high. Regardless, immigration is what makes us strong–we wouldn’t be much of a country without it.


  2. I always enjoy your take on things. I couldn’t agree with you more about racism.The clip of Richard Spencer (I Googled his name) getting clobbered was all over the place on the Internet yesterday. Although I don’t really agree with violence and I also understand an important part of the right to free speech is that it applies to everyone, even the loathsome, I can’t say I felt very sorry for him. In fact, I can’t say I felt in the slightest sorry for him.

    As for people who give away the end of movies, I actually have a coworker like that. He’s basically a nice guy in every other way, but he just can’t seem to stop himself revealing the final scene of any drama he’s ever watched. If he happens to begin talking about something I plan on seeing sometime, the only answer is to flee the room at top speed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I saw the title the first thing I thought of was a Daffy Duck cartoon in which he’s a super spy being pursued by Nazis. I kid you not. It’s a World War II cartoon that I saw even before I was old enough to understand who the Nazis were. In the end (spoiler alert!) he’s captured and they read the secret message he’s carrying: “Hitler is a stinker.” And a couple of Nazis–I think Himmler and Goebbels–read it and say, “That’s no secret. Everybody knows that!”
    I’ll just add that I live in a city that’s been significantly changed by immigration not only in my lifetime but even in the past decade or so and I think it’s a huge improvement. They add to the local culture rather than taking away from it.
    And in most cases they’re people who looked at this place and said, “That’s where I want to live.”
    We should take it as a compliment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gosh I remember that cartoon too! Today, Daffy Duck would be told to stop tweeting and the nazis would say “You’re not a duck–you’re a racoon. Yes, immigration keeps society diverse and diversity makes us stronger. People want to come to Canada because of what we offer, not because they want to stay the same as they were and are happy to embrace our values, despite what the racists and fear-mongerers would have use believe.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I had a good laugh while reading yet shook my head in dismay. The level of idiocy in racists beats me. I like your humourous approach in handling a subject that tends to raise people’s blood pressure. Honestly, I can understand wanting to maintain one’s values, what I don’t understand is the complete lack of commonsense.

    Liked by 1 person

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