Squirrel! Part Deux

Squirrel! for those who don’t know, is a reference to that easily distracted dog from the movie Up. And if you read last week’s post, you’ll remember that I promised to tell you what happened when we picked up the car. Well, not too much—it was pretty straightforward. The furnace had been fixed (“Yeah, I caved and got in a guy who replaced the pilot light thing”) and the dog smelled marginally better (“But the suede couch can’t be saved”) and then we drove off the lot. The next day, Ken had promised to take over the ownership for our trade-in/junker, but he called me while I was out shopping to say that the new-to-us vehicle’s engine light had come on. I agreed to meet him at the used car lot and drive him home if necessary. When I got there, Car Guy was leaning casually against the side of our SUV and Ken was sitting in the passenger seat:

Me: Hey, how’s everything?
Car Guy: So I threw the computer on it, and it’s just the thermostat. Twenty dollar part, quick fix.
Ken: So how long will it take?
Car Guy: Oh, we can get it done this afternoon, probably by—HEY! That door isn’t silver!!

Ken and I both looked in confusion at our SUV door, which was black like the rest of the vehicle, then in the direction Car Guy seemed to be looking. Leaning against the garage were several disembodied car doors. Two of them were red; one seemed like it was silver…?

Me: You mean the car door over there on the right? Isn’t it silver?
Car Guy: Nooo…I’m pretty sure that’s grey! Anyhoo, let’s say by end of day.

And it was. He’s nothing if not reliable.

In other news, on Wednesday, I made Ken take me out to the cemetery…(I love starting sentences that way, like you’re all thinking, “Ooh, what did Ken DO? What happened next?!”)…to take some new headshots of me for my new short story collection, Dark Nocturnes, which is coming out on April 5th, thanks to the wonderful JC Studio Press. Why the cemetery? Because for some strange reason, I always look great in a cemetery—all of my best author pics are me and a gravestone. And I don’t know if that says more about the cemetery or more about me. At any rate, it was super windy and hard to get any decent pictures of me with someone’s deadbed, but we found a sheltered spot by an old tree and I think it’s pretty decent, like I’m contemplating mortality and whatnot:

And if you like this picture (brace yourself for incoming blatant self-promotion), you’re going to LOVE Dark Nocturnes, which you can pre-order for Kindle here. Last week, I gave you a sneak peek at the cover and now, here’s the synopsis:

“Step into the shadows and explore the hidden corners of existence in Suzanne Craig-Whytock’s captivating collection Dark Nocturnes, where ordinary lives intertwine with extraordinary circumstances, where the line between reality and fantasy blurs with each turn of the page. Wander through the echoing corridors of old manor houses and deep forests, explore hidden rooms and cavernous antique markets, dance with menacing marionettes and life-size dolls. Lyrical, haunting, and occasionally humorous, Dark Nocturnes is a collection of thirty-two stories that explore joy and sorrow, gratitude and grief, and hatred and desire. Open the cover, feast on the stories inside…and if you’re lucky, Mr. Death just might show up for dessert.”

33 thoughts on “Squirrel! Part Deux”

  4. Just this week a coworker said to me “What’s up?” and I said “It’s a movie about a balloon salesman who flies his house to South America.” It’s probably a good thing that I resisted the urge to follow that by yelling “Thank you! Please tip your waiter!”
    The important thing, that I haven’t forgotten, is that it’s really exciting that your car trouble was just the thermostat. My wife and I once spent a night and $400 in Hahira, Georgia, getting what turned out to be a mere thermostat problem fixed. And even more exciting than that is the book. Congratulations!

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  11. I’d be more surprised if you said you asked Ken to take you to a Fairgrounds to get your picture taken near a Ferris wheel or something like that. So, its no so surprising to know you favor the cemetery for your head shots, lol.

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  13. Sorry I’m late—had one hell of a week.

    Now, let’s talk about this photo. I swear, if I didn’t know you personally, I’d think this was a still from The First 48. You’ve got that “detective who’s seen too much” look—like you’re two sips into a gas station coffee, staring at a crime scene, and muttering, “Something doesn’t add up.”

    Also, can we discuss the existential mystery that is your car door? Silver? Black? Grey? It exists in a Schrödinger’s spectrum of vague metallic hues, and I fear we may never have closure. Some questions just aren’t meant to be answered.

    Anyway, thanks for the laughs—I needed them this week. Keep being effortlessly cool and unintentionally hilarious.

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    • I love that you said this because I’m currently working on my new novel which is a murder mystery! And you understand my obsession with Schrödinger as well? You’re the best! Also I just read your post about your week—hugs and love to you ❤️

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  15. Congrats! Great photo! Look forward to reading your new book! I need something like this to break the spell of a miasma of of…of “What fresh hell is this?” where I purportedly live, south of your border. And where the lunatics have taken over the asylum. *sigh* My apologies for the disturbances from the nether world.

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