The Streak Is Over

You may or may not remember that I’ve written in the past about my lucky underwear. They’re a paisley pattern in a very soft fabric—there’s nothing otherwise notable about them, but for some reason, when I wear them, good things tend to happen. I’ve begun saving them for special occasions or times when I feel like I want to ‘encourage’ good fortune, and if you think this is weird then obviously you haven’t been following me for long because it’s par for the course around here. At any rate, last Wednesday we were supposed to get our air conditioner fixed. It had broken the week before, during the first heatwave of the year, obviously, and when the guy came, he was like “OK, the spinny thing isn’t spinning and the cool-y thing isn’t cooling so you need a new one of these box-y things.” Of course, he used more technical terminology, but I couldn’t hear him very well over the noise of all the fans I had going to try and keep cool. Being very hot makes me sad and grumpy, so I grunted at him and agreed that he needed to replace the outside cold box.

On Wednesday morning, after a week of excruciating heat, I put on my lucky underwear specifically to entreat the air conditioning gods to ensure that the repair people arrived on time with the right unit.

They put it in place, then they needed to go into the attic and hook it up, at which point, the older of the two men came downstairs and stared at me woefully because “the box in the attic that distributes the hot and cold air is older than your marriage and it doesn’t appear to be compatible with the new cool-y thing.”

Me: What does this mean? Also, how do you know how long I’ve been married?
Service Guy: It means you need a new attic distribution of air box. Also, you made the part up about your marriage for dramatic flair.  
Me: How much will that cost?!
Service Guy: If we’re talking about a new air box, a lot. If we’re talking about your blatant disregard for relating conversations verbatim, maybe a few readers.

I looked down at my underwear (well, I imagined I was looking at them through my yoga pants) and silently mouthed “What’s wrong with you?!” They did not respond, nor did they have the good grace to even look ashamed. But then I consoled myself with the thought that nobody’s perfect and they were still very comfortable on a hot day, being made of a breathable fabric and all, so I decided not to throw them away. Maybe they just needed to recharge or something. But then this past Friday, not only did I NOT have a terrible reaction to my second covid shot, unlike Ken, who had a fever and spent the day in bed, but out of the blue, my Canadian publisher messaged me to tell me that my novel, The Dome, had been picked up by a major publishing house in the United Arab Emirates for translation and publication. And guess what underwear I was sporting? No, NOT the lucky underwear, which is somewhere in the laundry hamper, but a completely ordinary old pair that I found at the back of my drawer since Ken has been too sick to put the laundry away. So what does this all mean? Does it mean that things just happen randomly regardless of your undergarments? Of course not. It means that I now have a new pair of lucky underwear. Obviously.

High Five, Ma!

60 thoughts on “The Streak Is Over”

  2. First, congrats on your book being picked up by an international publisher!! 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉
    And well, also on your new pair of lucky undergarments, lol. You have refrigerated air Suzanne, not plain old a/c, which can be more arduous to start up and shut down. Anyway, well, I hope you got it started up and things cooled down up there in cool Canada 🇨🇦.

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  3. Congratulations on the translation! That’s wonderful! And I can’t wait to read your new books that are coming out. I don’t have lucky underwear, but I collect lucky glass starfish for now–until I get tired of looking at them, which hasn’t happened yet. Cheers!

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  4. You buried the good news in much the same way your lucky undergarments are buried under yoga pants which is a nice bit of writing, as is changing the conversations with the service guys to make them more entertaining.
    I hope your AC gets fixed soon or that maybe you catch another lucky break of cooler weather. It was certainly lucky you could be there for part of Skypy Friday.

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  7. UAE, eh? Cool (don’t you wish!) You don’t have clandestine operative instructions side-slipped into that novel’s plot, do you?
    Was 90 by 9:00 am here. Just sittin’ around, watching the mercury rise, which is not as dull as one might think seein’ how fast it goes up, which is fast.
    I’m afraid I wasted all my luck in my youth. Well, waste is a harsh word, fortuitously expended might be a better way to look at it. Numerous life-threatening episodes culminating in non-life-ending results, obviously, I guess.

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  10. Woot woot for the good news about The Dome!! How exciting is that?? Wow! I am really happy for you, Suzanne 🙂

    And thank you for bringing to our attention that lucky underwear have a ”best before” date. I currently have a pair of lucky socks I wear every Canadiens’ game night… I hope they won’t expire before we get to bring the Stanley Cup back to Montréal 😛

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  14. For a second I thought maybe your magical pup would be wearing the now-defunct magical undies, but after a second it became clearer to me. Funny how your brain sees what it thinks is there! Sorry about the AC $$, but you’ll know it’s worth it the next time temps rise. May your new good luck “charm”
    work like a charm!!

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  15. Some years ago, my sister-in-law innovated a new sort of air-conditioned-underwear technology: She’d leave her water bras in the freezer overnight, then wear them to work on the subway to stay cool. My point is, there’s clearly a storied and successful relationship between undergarments and cooling systems.

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  22. Wow! Underpants luck. I have borrowed an expression from a friend after I do laundry: “clean underpants karma.” Meaning absolutely nothing; except clean underwear. Okay! The news about your book is fab! Yay you!

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