Holiday Decorating Quiz Extravaganza

I adore decorating magazines, especially in December, because they have those fun quizzes in them, like the one I did this year on how to “Unwrap your signature holiday style”. I love it when anyone assumes that I actually HAVE a style to unwrap, like there’s a part of me just DYING to run into a forest and gather evergreen boughs and whatnot. The explanation under the headline was “If determining your home’s holiday look is your own personal nightmare before Christmas, fear not. We’re here to help.” Personal nightmare?! Aren’t we getting a little dramatic here? Because the nightmares I have focus on the house burning down or worldwide pandemics, not so much on whether people appreciate my decorating style. But the magazine thoughtfully provided a list of 10 questions to help me determine exactly how to discover my “festive style” by giving me four choices—A, B, C, or D, and then adding up the choices to correspond with a style. Here we go:

1) Which winter wreath would you hang?

I chose D, the “Feathery Evergreen”, except that I would forgo the peacock feathers and bow, and add twinkle lights. Now it looks just like the wreaths that Ken and I hang in our windows every year. We keep them in a closet under the stairs along with the twenty extension cords we need to make them light up.

2) Choose the prettiest gift wrap.

While “Snowflake Chic” and “Golden Glamour” were both very fetching, I myself am partial to “Last Year’s Leftovers” with a side of “”Scotch Tape and a Bit of Ribbon”.

3) What’s Your Must-Watch Christmas Movie?

I’d only seen one out of the 4 choices—A Christmas Story, which is so wonderfully random with the leg lamp and the pack of dogs that continually appear out of nowhere to wreak havoc. As for the other options, It’s a Wonderful Life is way too morbid, A Muppet Christmas is way too Muppet-y, and I’ve never actually seen Love Actually. MY must-watch movie is How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Not the live action film, which is ridiculously over the top, but the original animated classic, which I can recite almost verbatim, having watched it every year since I was old enough to remember. It’s tradition, and I don’t care if it messes up my style score. Also, Die Hard WASN’T on the list, which frankly is ridiculous because it’s the best Christmas movie of all time. Yippee Ki Yay indeed.

4) Which candles will you set out this season?

While “a selection of unscented tea lights and votives in mercury glass containers” sounds quite glam, I’m gonna go with NONE, because as I previously mentioned, one of my personal nightmares is having the house burn down, and candles are tiny fires that aspire to be bigger ones, in my book. Don’t get me wrong—I HAVE candles but I only use them when the power is out and I can see them in the dark.

5) Which wallpaper would you use for an accent wall?

What? Now I’m putting up wallpaper?! Go to hell.

6) Select a pair of holiday pajamas

OK, this I can get behind. I’m going to pick…a “monogrammed crisp white button-down nightshirt and matching pants”? Nooo. “A long sleep tee featuring a flamingo donning a Santa hat”? Nooo. Ok, these choices are NOT appealing to me. I shall choose the reindeer patterned flannel pants I bought last summer on sale, accented with a Joe Fresh tank top in “used to be crisp white but then I washed it with a black hoodie and now it’s kind of grey and I only wear it to bed”.

7) Your Yuletide tree is…

Whichever one is closest to where we parked the car at the tree farm. The magazine’s option D is “An imperfect long-needled pine, chopped fresh from the forest”, so I kind of won this one except that in recent years we’ve been buying small potted trees that we can replant in our yard in the spring rather than going into the forest, finding the biggest tree and chopping it down with…a herring (that’s your Monty Python reference for this post) . The best part of this question is option C, the picture of a “life-like” tree that you can buy from Canadian Tire for $500. I can get a whole decade’s worth of real trees for that price, imperfect though they may be.

8) Pick an ornament.

One of the choices is a felt ketchup bottle. It’s thirteen dollars. I can’t even. I’ve used the same vintage glass ornaments from the early twentieth century for the last twenty-ish years. I also make my own ornaments to give out to friends and family made from wood. On a more serious note, I choose a word each year to burn into them–this year’s word is HOPE because I think we all need a little bit of that.

9) Choose a Christmas card to send out.

I would if I could ever remember to actually send out Christmas cards in time for them to get to people. So while I love the “Paisley Reindeer Card” ($7, Hallmark. Yes, for ONE card), I usually end up buying a box of whatever’s left at the local convenience store, and taking them with me when we visit family. Nothing says “love” like hand-delivery, am I right?

10) How do you usually spend Christmas Eve?

None of the options seemed quite right, so I made up my own. Being with my family, enjoying good food and drink, listening to beautiful music, laughing and hugging, and being grateful that the house isn’t on fire.

When I tallied up my score, I’d gone rogue too many times to establish a Christmas style. I wasn’t “Formal Elegant”, “Colourful Eclectic”, “Fresh Contemporary”, OR “Rustic Country”. And I’m good with that, because all of these trappings of consumerism are not what Christmas is about anyway. To quote the Grinch:

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

grinch

Have a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa and anything else you celebrate in December even if you can’t be with the ones you love. Here’s some hope from me to you that next year will be better.

58 thoughts on “Holiday Decorating Quiz Extravaganza”

  1. 1) Wreath? The plastic one we’ve used for the past dozen years. Still looking fresh 🙂
    2) Totally with you on the left-over gift wrap. I award myself points for finishing off a roll & “most impressive use of a tired scrappy bit”
    3) Weirdly, I’ve seen all of those movies except A Christmas Story – no idea what that is. Of the ones mentioned I’d go for Muppet Christmas cos it’s ace.
    4) Candles are definitely my wife’s department – lots of warm spicy, cinnamon smells. I wonder if they do them in rum flavour. If we die in a fire at least we’ll smell delicious.
    5) “Go to hell” is much too mild a way of expressing what I feel to the idea of Christmas Accent Wallpaper. They can **** right off and shove their **** paper up their **** **** ****.
    6) Nope, can’t be arsed with festive jammies. I don’t own a Christmas jumper either. Bah, and if you will, humbug.
    7) Tree – see answer to Q1. (That’s a slight fib, we bought a new one about 4 years ago). Oh, and a dead cheap plastic one we used as a stage prop a couple of times but which looks pretty good in our extension.
    8) Ornaments. We have 2 colour styles to chose from each year. My mum spent a good 5 minutes showing me what she’s done with cardboard tubes from that oh-so-precious toilet paper hoard. Stars, snowflakes, Santa, snowman. Apparently she spent a fortune on craft glue, glitter, paints…
    9) I’m currently putting off writing cards by writing this instead. But I’m on Q9. Gonna have to get my pen ready. As to what kind of cards, see Q2.
    10) Usually spend the evening of Christmas Eve wrapping presents. But I’ve done half already! I am sooo prepared this year. Surely I won’t be still wrapping on the 24th at 11:50 pm? Ummm… See Q9 and my procrastination habit.

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  3. barbaramullenix says:

    You’re the second person to say that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. I’m going to have to watch that soon!

    I don’t think anyone fits into those style choices unless you pay a professional decorator or are a gazillionaire who uses a professional decorator. Or Martha Stewart.

    Have a wonder holiday season. Maybe get one of those battery operated flickering lights that resemble candles/fireplaces – no burning houses then (unless your extension cords short out. Ha! Bet you weren’t worried about that until just now!)

    Seriously, stay safe and happy.

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  4. Apparently I have no holiday style because I didn’t pick anything, and we haven’t put up a tree or even a wreath. This year the holiday has felt a lot like the rest of the year, and that might sound bad, but, you know, there’s been a lot of togetherness even when we’ve been apart and appreciation for the good things people do. The dogs have also been grateful we’ve been around so much, and they’re much better behaved than the Bumpus hounds from A Christmas Story. At least they haven’t stolen a whole turkey.
    So your choice of “hope” sums it up wonderfully. Here’s hoping we leave behind what was bad about this year and keep what’s been good.
    And the animated Grinch is the best. Narrated by Boris Karloff. How can you improve on that?

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    • Those dogs really are the best aside from the leg lamp! But I know Atlas would steal a whole turkey if I gave him the opportunity! Now, I’m off to watch the Grinch and his sidekick Max, the most adorable reindeer in the world:-)

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  5. I was having a hard time with all of this. Who would put together a list of holiday styles that seemingly have nothing to do but create a list of styles that I possibly couldn’t do?

    Anyway, I’m with you on Die Hard, how was that NOT on the list!?!? The ultimate Christmas action movie. I agree with you as well on a Christmas Story, I have a small wooden box ornament that says “Fragile” on my tree.

    I too have Christmas PJs that are red and white gingham that say “Naughty or Nice. Do You Really Want To Find Out. Test My Patience” 😁
    Atlas would definitely tear the turkey up, he’s getting pretty big.

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  6. This blog is so much fun to read! Despite the references to Die Hard AND Monty Python, my favourite quotation has to be, “What? Now I’m putting up wallpaper?! Go to hell.” My family wondered what made me cough and snarf yogurt and cereal all over the place. I’m not blaming the mess on you, but, well…

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  7. That was fun. I’m with you on the original animated cartoon version of the Grinch. That’s my favorite all time Christmas movie. I have my very own copy of it that I force the fam to watch every year. And I agree on most of the rest though I have been known to venture into the woods for greens. 😀 Have a wonderful Christmas and I hope you find lots of reasons to laugh in 2021. 🙂

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  8. There’s a Youtube 4 hour compilation someone created with 1950-1980’s holiday commercials and four traditional xmas shows. It’s a good watch. Rankin/Bass were Christmas gods.

    Decorations, trimmings and trappings? For what other single day event do we encase our homes in baubles stored for 50 weeks in a half dozen boxes under the stairs, in the attic, in large grey tupperware in the garage?

    There must be something genetic in our systems that drives us to herald in the death and rebirth of Sol. Happy Winter Solstice.

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  11. Sounds like you’re Unique Festive for your Christmas style, probably like 80% of us. (Wallpaper? Seriously? WTF?) Gotta say – bought Christmas cards for Mom and Dad and was, Jesus, $7 for a card? Outrage! A holiday card costs more than a beer? Double outrage! The Christmas movie trilogy for me is A Christmas Story, Die Hard, and the original Grinch. Love walking about while singing, “You’re a foul one, Mister Grinch,” and then proceeding to making up my own verses about everyone and everything, such as, “You’re an a-hole, mister Trump.”

    Ho, ho, ho.

    Happy holidays. Cheers

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  14. We do love to decorate for Christmas–but I’m with you on the nightmare of the house burning down. I do check the tree every once in a while to make sure it’s not spontaneously bursting into flames:) My favorite Christmas movie would most likely not be on a home decorating list: It’s Krampus of course–and the main character’s house, in the beginning, is AMAZING in terms of home decor for the holidays. Cheers!

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  19. Die Hard is definitely the best Christmas movie and I’m glad you agree! Love Actually is worth a watch if you get a chance – not nearly as god as Die Hard but arguably its equal as a piece of pop culture!

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  22. Michelle says:

    Oh how I love the Grinch! I wish we could get together and watch it, and say the lines together in unison! I have never found anyone else who could, and my (adult) kids STILL roll their eyes when I do it. I have to watch it in secret. Also, I always love your blogs – you make me laugh, and I need that this year.

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  24. Oh yeah, the original animated How the Grinch Stole Christmas is the gold standard. Not only does Thurl Ravenscroft have one of the best names, ever, no one can sing that song like he can. Now I’ll be humming “You’re a Mean One, Mr Grinch” all evening – not a bad way to spend a Tuesday night.

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  25. Your ornament looks charming. Thanks for the illusion busting on what Christmas is too. The Grinch had it down about Christmas. Must confess I’ve never seen the film. I’ll put it on my list. LOL.
    Stay well and have a good new year.

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