Prone To Being Prone

I am not by nature a vertical person. I don’t enjoy gravity, and as I get older, I find myself longing more and more for the horizontal. To clarify, I’m not talking about a coffin or anything as morbid as that—I love life; I just love it more when I’m prone. And it occurred to me last week as I turned 55 that there was one thing missing from my life that would allow me to live my dream. But first, a little backstory.

When we bought our house, it had an old summer kitchen attached to the back. It was being used as a workshop, but we soon realized the potential for finishing it and turning it into a living space. Plus, it gave Ken an excuse to build a workshop in the back yard, and if you were following the chronicles of last summer’s artisanal gazebo, you will understand the glee with which he undertook the challenge of applying gables and picture windows and other assorted architectural features to the project. Ultimately, the old summer kitchen was transformed into a very nice family room where we could watch movies. The trouble was that the room had no heat source; an electric fireplace did the trick, but there was an old door at the back that let in a lot of drafts. We had already put in a set of French doors and never used the other one, so a couple of weeks ago, we finally had the back door replaced with an insulated window. Side note: did you know that having an open wall cavity in early November attracts a lot of flies, but that you can gain hours of endless amusement from watching your dog attempt to catch them all?

At any rate, the window project was completed, and as it happens with all home renos, a slippery slope began. We had more space to rearrange the furniture, which left us with an area that was big enough to add an additional chair. We brought one down from the bedroom but, as we were watching The Mandalorian last week, I was dissatisfied. With both the series, which I will get to, and the chair.

Me: I don’t like this.
Ken: It’s Star Wars. The acting is never stellar.
Me: No, I meant the chair. It’s not that comfortable.
Kate: Well, sit on the sectional with us.
Me: But it’s so crowded and I never get the long spot. I want one of those theatre chairs with the cupholders and the power recline.
Ken: Those are way too big. It would block the patio doors.
Me: I WANT ONE. I’m a grown-ass woman—if I want a theatre chair, I should be able to have one!! Stop laughing at me!

But I had the last laugh. Because another Friday rolled around, and as I finished off an incredibly busy week, I was, once again, simultaneously looking forward another episode of The Mandalorian and wondering which other franchise it would rip off (this season has already seen Dune and Alien, and I’m just waiting for a planet ruled by a chick riding a dragon) and NOT looking forward to sitting in the very vertical chair from our bedroom.

Me: I’m going out.
Ken: Why?
Me: I’m going to buy a chair. Want to come?
Ken: I’m too tired. Wait until tomorrow.
Me: No.

But let’s be honest. Did I really need to buy an expensive theatre chair just to watch movies in a couple of times a week? Of course not. But I DID know a great place to shop for furniture, and I was convinced that I would find something perfect at the Restore Store, which raises money for Habitat For Humanity through donations of furniture and other things that people can buy. I raced down the highway, got there right before closing, threw on my mask, and rushed in. And would you believe it? They had not one, but TWO theatre chairs for a third the price of retail! And would you also believe that when I looked at them, I realized Ken was right—there was no way a chair that size would fit into the room. I was sadly disappointed, but then, from behind me, a sultry voice called out, “Hey, baby.” I turned, and there was a tanned, leather recliner, sturdy and fit.

Me (blushing): Are—are you talking to me?
Leather Recliner (slow drawl): Uh huh. Why don’t you come sit on my lap and settle in?
Me: Well, I could, just for a…ooh, this is very comfy.
LR: Reach down and pull the handle.
Me: Oh yeah! This is what I’m talking about!

So the guys at the store helped load up the chair, who was extremely happy to be coming home with me. When I told the cashier that I needed the chair to watch The Mandalorian, he nodded and said, “Perfect. All furniture today is also 15% off.”

Of course, having the perfect comfy chair didn’t really help the viewing itself, particularly when it came out finally that The Child, who is apparently NOT Baby Yoda, is actually called Grogu. What kind of name is that for an adorable animated puppet? I recently bought Kate a toy Baby Yoda, and I call it Shmoo, which I think is much better and cuter. But at least I got to watch the whole thing in a warm room, glass of wine in hand, and completely horizontal.

56 thoughts on “Prone To Being Prone”

  1. You have to be comfortable when watching anything Star Wars related, that’s what I say anyway. It’s looks absolutely wonderfully comfy in your new movie room. Let’s just hope it doesn’t start talking all sultry to you while watching a movie, that might get annoying. And might not sit well with the leather recliner talking sexy to you in the middle of a good movie.

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  5. I love the come-on from the leather recliner. Lol. And congrats on being successfully “handy” as well as having husband who finishes projects! Wow. My husband is an electrician which is why our switches and plugs don’t work. 😀

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  8. No cup holder. I guess you’ll just hold the wine bottle between your legs.

    Mando is lame’o, for sure. But the production quality… The squid-face men on the boat, and the water? I could not determine if that was live-action or CG. But yeah, Jon Favareau (or whatever) keeps putting his name on those things. Uh, why? I’d ask. So, you wrote those? When? In high school?

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    • Yes, production quality is excellent but the plots are so blatantly derivative. At first, I was like, is this a clever homage? But no. And yes, I do miss the cup holder option, especially when the dog is running around pretending to be a Jedi and knocking all the tables over!

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  9. Congratulations! I just had the same experience with a couch that woo’d me. As soon as we made eye contact, it was a done deal. It will be arriving soon! 🤗

    PS…did you know that you can order theatre popcorn from Skip The Dishes? Just sayin. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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  11. Someday eventually I’ll get around to watching The Mandalorian, but we don’t even have AppleTV and with what we do have there’s so much to watch I just can’t justify it even if we do have a big comfy couch in front of the TV. My wife has on several occasions suggested she’d like to have a reclining chair but I don’t know where we’d put it–the couch doesn’t leave much room–and I really don’t want one myself. I like being prone too but sometimes I need to get up quickly and having to deal with a handle can really slow me down. Also I’m afraid of what that chair would say to me about my eating habits.
    By the way, since you’re watching The Mandalorian you’ll probably enjoy their newest character, Jeans Guy:

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  12. Hey baby—another Sunday I’ve learned to read after coffee because sudden laughter would cause a spill. I love your posts and look forward to them every week. I’ve been considering a small recliner myself since the wheelchair, scooter or bed get to be a literal pita! Is pain in the ass considered literal? Probably not.

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  13. Ohhhh…. your chair looks like our two chairs (and sofa)… they whispered sweet nothings to us, too… but unlike yours, ours don’t recline… instead they just give us bad backs from sinking into them with no back support!

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  15. Oh I have chair envy right here! Most of my movie watching is done from the corner of my sofa with 2 cats balancing on either my legs or shoulders.
    Love your Mandalorian rant, I’m loving the series but Grogu sounds too similar to Groot for my liking…

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  16. Let’s hear it for recliners! We have three now (because our living room is stupidly configured with no room for a full-size couch), and it’s probably for the best. They’re great for TV and for being old in general. Not that you are old! No, no, I speak only for myself here.

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