My Week 240: Moving On

I’m exhausted. I just spent the last week packing up for my move back home. If you didn’t already know this, 4 years ago I was offered a temporary position with the secret agency, but it was a very long way from the small town where Ken and I have lived for over 15 years. They were willing to pay for a condo, so I moved to Toronto for what I thought would be a very short time, which turned into a permanent position (where they no longer paid for the condo and I had to pay for it myself–the monthly rent was twice the cost of my mortgage) and a very LONG time. Every Sunday night, I took the train into Toronto, and every Friday afternoon, I took the train home. It was yucky. Finally this Christmas, and after discovering a morning train that could get me to work in under an hour and a half, Ken and I decided I should commute every day instead of living in a neighbourhood that I like to call “the last place that God made”. I had to wait until the end of April though, because I’d committed to taking on a co-op student, a lovely girl who had already lived with me twice, and it didn’t seem fair to make her find some random weirdo to live with for her last work term (and yes, perhaps I am also a random weirdo, but I’m HER random weirdo).

*Side Note: Here are two reasons I’m sad about moving. First, not more than a week after I posted about that weird-ass ladder on the roof next door, I looked out the window and saw this:

Where’s the damn ladder?

And now I will never know what the ultimate plan is. Second, the two guys across the hall just got a Golden Retriever, and I will never get to babysit him.

But moving is bullsh*t. Everyone knows that. In fact, I can’t understand why people don’t just live in the same place until they die because moving is so horrible. Even though my condo was under 800 square feet, it was absolutely f*cking amazing to me the sheer quantity of stuff that I’d accumulated over 4 years. And I’d already had to move once already, after I was illegally evicted from my first condo because it was sold and the new owner was “anxious to move in”. So I had to find another place to live and MOVE TO IT. One week after I moved, I was on the local realtor site and I saw my old place for rent again for $250 more a month than I’d been paying. So I called the real estate agent who was leasing it:

Me: Hi there. I’m wondering about the condo you have advertised.
 Agent: Oh so sorry—it just leased.
Me: That’s very interesting, because you just illegally evicted me from there last week.
Agent: Uh…I’m going to have to call you back (*click*).

Long story short, I filed a lawsuit, and they settled out of court. But I still had to move. And now, I was doing it by choice. I decided that it wouldn’t be fair to Ken to make him drive into the heart of downtown Toronto with U-Haul, so I hired movers. There are a lot of moving companies around, and some of them have pretty weird names as we all know. Here are ten:

1) The Burly Boyz
2) The Box Brothers
3) The Happy Haulers
4) My Ninja Movers
5) Rent-A-Son
6) The Rampaging Removers
7) The Shifty Shifters
8) Uncle Bob’s El Cheapo Movers
9) You Pack ‘Em, We Stack ‘Em
10) Your Friend With A Cube Van

Some of those names are actually made up—you have to guess which ones are real moving companies. I think my favourite was ‘In and Out Movers’ because it sounded just a little dirty. At any rate, after looking at review sites, I went with a company called “Two Men and a Truck”, which seemed a fairly self-explanatory and not very creative. But they had a five-star rating so I booked them. In the meantime, I had to start packing all my sh*t up, which sounds easy, except that almost every night last week, I was taken out for a farewell dinner by friends, which involved drinks, and which rendered me not particularly interested in packing. Finally, on Thursday night, I realized I needed to go hard at it because the movers were coming on Friday morning. But I had one problem—there was way too much stuff. Luckily, I had placed an ad on the electronic bulletin board in the elevator of the building. I hadn’t had any takers, when suddenly on Thursday at around 5 pm, I got a text from ‘Joseph’, who was interested in my couch, lamp, and coffee table. He lived two floors up and offered to come down right away. I was a little nervous—what if he was like The Serial Killer Upstairs (whom I had written about a couple of years ago) and instead of wanting my furniture, he wanted to make a lady-suit out of me? The only weapon that I hadn’t packed was a fork that didn’t go with any of my other cutlery (where the hell it came from is one of life’s mysteries, and we all know how we feel about THAT ONE FORK) so I put it in a convenient spot on the counter. I was worried for nothing though, because Joseph was more interested in my furniture than me. He was Swedish, or some kind of young Scandinavian country-type, and he took a few things, telling me that he “loved glassware and lighting”. He also had a roommate who would be home shortly and he would tell ‘Daveed’ about some of the other things I had, and let me know if they were interested. Sure enough, around 9:45, I got a second text telling me that he wanted some more items:

 

I was pretty exhausted, and also a little perplexed about having two strange young men in my condo at 10 o’clock at night, but that concern was outweighed by the feeling that I had badly underestimated the number of boxes I told the movers I would have (“Ten-ish,” I said. “You fool!” you say.), and I really wanted to get rid of some more stuff. Joseph introduced me to ‘Daveed’, who was also apparently Swedish-y. The two of them were setting up an “outdoor space” on their balcony and were delighted by everything they saw (imagine that they are speaking with charming Swedish accents, which I don’t know how to write—I can only do French and Russian):

Joseph: Daveed. Daveed! This will be perfect in the outdoor room!
 Daveed: For plants, yes! And look at this wine rack—I can grow vines around it!
Joseph: Daveed! What do you think of this desk? Could you use it outside?
Daveed: Oh yes! It will be perfect for when I am at the computer!

After a few trips up and down the elevator, they had enough for a good start on the outdoor room, we bid each other goodnight, and I went to bed. Guess what time I woke up in a panic about all the things I still had left to do, and the fact that I was short at least two boxes? If you said 4 a.m., you would be absolutely f*cking correct. But then the movers called around 8:30 and asked, “Do you need any boxes?”
 “Maybe a couple,” I answered casually. In the meantime, Ken messaged for me to call him so that we could discuss how I should tell the movers to pack everything:

Me: What are you talking about?
 Ken: You need to tell them to put everything that goes upstairs in last so they can bring it out first.
Me: You seriously want me to mansplain moving to PROFESSIONAL MOVERS? Hard pass.
Ken: But there are some things that have to go in the front door and some things that have to—
Me: You know what? You can tell them yourself when they get there, but I’m gonna bet they know how to do this, and for the money I’m paying them, I’ll also bet they’ll do whatever you want.

The movers were right on time, and there were THREE of them in the truck. The driver explained that I got a bonus man because it was Friday, and if there was ever a more random reason than that, I can’t think of one. But they were super-efficient, wrapping everything in blankets and taping it all up. Then they were gone and I was left with an empty condo. The landlord was coming over at 11:30 to get the keys, so I cleaned up everything until the place was spic and span, and much cleaner than the previous tenants had left it. He arrived, and I proudly said, “I’ve left everything very clean!” at which point, he went over, opened the oven door and looked inside it, the one place I HADN’T CLEANED. Then he looked at me rather pointedly, and I said, “It was like that when I moved in.”

When I finally arrived home on Friday night, SOMEONE was very happy to see me:

Titus: You’re home! This is the best day ever!
Me: Guess what, buddy? I’m going to be home EVERY night from now on!
Titus: WHUUUT?! HOME COOKED MEALS EVERY NIGHT?! Ooh, I think I just peed a little!
Me: Ok, ewww. But what are you talking about? Ken knows how to cook.
Titus: Yeah, if you like ‘Wonder Weiner’ twice a week.
Ken (from the other room): Wonder Weiner is awesome!
Titus: Can you make that steak with the peppercorn cream sauce? I’ll just wait by the oven…

Ah, home sweet home. And now I have to unpack.

54 thoughts on “My Week 240: Moving On”

  1. Moving is the worst! I ALWAYS end up leaving things to the end. Two Men and a Truck must be popular because we also have one here. So glad Titus was happy to see you. 😊

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  2. Harvey Murray says:

    Welcome home Susanne, Sounds like moving is still fun. Hope Drumbo meets your total expectations for fulltime living and that we do not create the excitement you are accustomed to

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  4. Everyone hstesmoving. The last time I was I’ll so it was done for me while I was locked in my bedroom with my granddaughter to pack up my personal stuff. I still have no idea where my “stuff” is, in what

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  8. Wow, I admire you determination Suzanne. Especially by not listening to Ken on schooling the moving dudes on how to put everything in the truck, lol. I’ve only moved three times in my whole life but it wasn’t pleasant, any of the times I did it. I haven’t even found a house I like (I’m in the process of buying my very first house) and in addition to decluttering I’ve also started packing shit up. So when I finally sign those papers and have keys in hand, I can only pack when I’ve been using and I’m outta this rental nightmare! So happy your home with Ken and of course Titus 😎😁

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  9. In Germany we have a saying “Dreimal umgezogen ist wie einmal abgebrannt.” meaning “moving three times is like one house fire”. We’ve been living in our appartment for over 20 years and I dread the day my husband will tell me we’re moving (he’s thinking about a job change…). Good luck finding your stuff. 😉

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  13. Welcome home and I’m going to guess 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 were made up. I could be wrong—kinda going from memory here.
    And of course you didn’t clean the stove because you never used it. At least that’s what I’m going to believe.
    Speaking of stoves though I do sort of want the recipe for Wonder Wiener now, even if it sounds like a rather disturbing euphemism.

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    • Lol—1,4,5,8 and 10 are the real ones, believe it or not! Wonder weiner is cut up hot dogs in a sauce—I can’t stomach it, but it’s a staple of Ken’s diet and as much a euphemism as In and Out Movers!

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  15. In total I think I’ve moved 14 times. 6 of those in about as many years! Luckily I didn’t have much to my name. My last move was out of rental to our own home, and it went like a dream. People hate us for it. But we were hyper-organised and put a lot of effort into the planning. And not only were we moving less than half a mile, we were able to have an overlap of time in both places. We had to hire movers and they were a very well-oiled machine (efficient, not drunk 😉 ). Obviously the Universe redressed the balance by making me redundant during the process. Twice. But we hung on! It’s only right that you and your husband, and Titus, live under the same roof, so welcome home :). Please keep us updated if you can re: The Ladder.

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  16. Ah, yes! I hate moving–hate it. Two years ago we moved from Ohio to Washington state, which was the biggest move Nate, Alex, or I had ever done. I thought I had gotten rid of a lot of things, but it looks like we actually kept more than I thought we would. I swore I wouldn’t buy any more books, but I just can’t help myself and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to part with them when we move again someday. Glad to see you got a “bonus man” for moving–that’s awesome:)

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  17. I’m never moving again – they’re going to take me out of here in a box! We managed to get movers that packed everything for us, although S. was at one end and I was at the other, it was fine really, we can laugh about it now. It is funny how you start off with a few boxes in the back of an estate car and end up with enough stuff to furnish a small village isn’t it?
    I don’t think we’ll find out about that ladder – it looks to me like they’ve taken the wall out of that place and it’s going inside!

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  19. moving is no picnic – like with travel, I leave it all for very last sec, then shove everything into too few boxes. congrats on getting it done – time for you to get your own additional doggie, no? & a cook & a housekeeper! (that’s how I picture heaven at least). welcome home, dear 🙂

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